OCD 2
I went to my therapist today and told him all my symptoms and then he had me take an MMPI test which is a bunch of true/false questions about how you react to stuff and how you feel about stuff. He said he had noticed that I was narcissistic but he didn't want to label it as delusions of grandeur until he knew me better. But since I thought I was delusional among other things he set me up with a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist talked to me for a while and says I probably have obsessive compulsive disorder, major depression and maybe a little schizotypal personality disorder. He also had me give a blood sample and take a blood test, and I'm going to see both of them next week after the results of the blood tests and MMPI have come in. When I read about obsessive compulsive personality disorder and fit the bill perfectly in terms of behavior, I was scared because I thought personality int he name meant it was intrinsic to my personality. I was right, but I don't have OCPD, just OCD (thank God) because the thoughts originating from the disorder don't feel like me, they feel like they don't belong and I don't like them and like there's a real me underneath who's a lot different, and they call symptoms like that egodystonic. And egodystonic means it's not me, it's just the disorder, which means it's OCD. The schizotypal personality disorder is a personality disorder though, and is therefore probably harder to treat, but it's just trouble seperating fiction from reality; without my ego and judgemental obsession, it's not that big of a deal. And those things come from my OCD, which is treatable. I'm looking forward to moving closer to a diagnosis and I'm hopeful for the future with treatment.
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