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Tsubasa no kami,
was what she said she was to me
But really, she was only
TOMODACHI...

I met thig girl in a dream and,
She gave the greatest gift ot me and,
when I awoke I played the game.

I met her in the World and,
she taught me how to hurl and,
there was no magic at all...

She claimed to be a goddess of the air but,
There was nothing magical there, and,
All I could call her was a
friend to me...

Tsubasa no Kami
is what she claimed to be, but,
She is only
TOMODACHI

Tsubasa no Kami--
SHE LIED TO ME!

So I was thinking this owuld be the theme for Shatterball.

I sent out the scripts on Sunday. Or Saturday. I think it was Saturday.

Here, I'll let you guys see it:

Pick preferred file format:
http://www.myfilehut.com/userfiles/54788/Shatterball/shatterball_script.rtf
http://www.myfilehut.com/userfiles/54788/Shatterball/shatterball_script.odt
http://www.myfilehut.com/userfiles/54788/Shatterball/shatterball_script.doc

---

The song is kind of a hard rock thing. I can sing it just fine, I got it all worked out, I just need a program to do the guitar riffs and such.
... As if that is ever going to happen.

Anyway, "Tomodachi"(friend) was really the best song I could come up with that wasn't repeating "Shatterball" over and over again like some retard.
Which was actually pretty fun, but don't remind me of fun retardedness. >_>
<_<

If the show ever gains a foot on the ground, I wil look into producing the song, but for now you all just get to stare at the lyrics and wonder at it.

And the horrible script.

Horrible, HORRIBLE script.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Well, I take that back. I know exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking "Explain Shatterball since you never released the game info to anybody" and "Don't focus on Ziko, for god sakes."

Well, I failed on one and a half counts, I suppose.

I have four pages of written s**t and diagrams about Shatterball and how the game works, positions, fields, rules, etc.
Trying ot get it in a comprehensible AUDIO format was really hard.

God forbid I try to script an actual shatterball game. I guess Fimion could be the announcer.
But.
All the other VAs it'd be grunts and groans! XD
Except for the Roy scene.

Maybe I'll type up episode zero, the original episode one, that got scrapped, for you guys to read.

See, Ep0 is why some of the things in the ep .5 happened. For example, in ep .5 it says Team Maki took the entire season off. Normally that would make no sense, but in ep 0, Something happened between Ziko and Skye(Ep0 was a Ziko-full-drama episode that sucks; it's why I trashed it) and Arethic decided that they should not play any games this year in order to improve Maki's game as well as let some steam quietly cool itself between Ziko and Ben.

Ep .5 also references Roy Windsor. The Roy flashback happened in ep0, and Twistex was voicing Roy. I'm not sure where I'll hit the flashback now, but hopefully it will be never.

Partly because I do not want this series to be focused on Ziko, despite how my ******** up brain and hands want to write it, and partly because although it would be so insanely awesome, especially with Twist's voice being such a perfect fit, it'd be too over-dramatic for a series just starting out.

That and it was visually driven.

Ep0 was all visually driven.

The first 3 minutes there were no words. I loved that so much.

One of my major challenges in ep .5 for myself was to provide an audio format in a new and interesting way. I wanted to incorporate a lot of music. I wanted it to seem like you were watching TV with your eyes closed, but even though your eyes were closed, you could still see EVERYTHING.

I think that was accomplished in ep .5, but not in the way I really wanted. It's not shouting out "Awesome work!"
It's shouting out... "Hey, you suck at writing shows. Go away. I hate you."

To be honest, everything I ever wrote that I took seriously, I hated.
The only awesome things that come from me are when I'm crying while I write it, or when I wasn't thinking at all and it just came out.

My angsty poems are a tribute to process number one (tsuka @ sheezyart) and my roleplaying pays tribute to process number two.

Throughout elementary and middle school, and even a littl ebit of Highschool, I wanted to be a writer. I researched SO much on freelancing, I did so much work, I wrote my first book. Everything.
My book sucked, but it was the thought and effort that counted.
Irregardless, I sent my work in to a subsidy company named Dorrance Publishing.

Subsidy companies are people you pay to get your book published, basically.
And they said 7.5k for 800 (IIRC) of my books, 3 color paperback cover, free reviews. Now that I think about it... Back then, for a middleschooler, I don't think that was a bad deal.

But once I took a look at that price, and the review they gave me for my book, I knew... I wasn't good enough.

I gave up on subsidy, and I decided to polish my skills and submit to TOR, the only publisher I could find in my MONTHS of searching that would take and review freelancers (freelancers being writers with no credit and/or agent), as well as publish for free.

I always figured, I'd write the best damn book there ever was, submit it to TOR, and then 6 -8 months later, shazam! I've hit life in the big easy.

So I kept roleplaying, hoping for that next big book idea.

It never came.

I tried to rewrite my first book, but it didn't work out. My first book was basically a fanfiction with a lot of namechanges(hey. I was 12).

When I first started AMVing and wasn't known at all yet, I started going in a new direction. I started to research screenplays(those are, scripts for movies).

I had a few cool ideas for some movies, and I figured if I can't write a book, I could write a movie. Screenplays are notorious for their HUGE lack of description and creativity. Yet they are still bought.

So, okay. I'll go for it.

I bought several books on it, and I tried following the steps, but I swear to you, screenplay writing is hard.

It's hard because I had all these small details in my head, and I simply could not write them into the script because the format didn't allow it.
And I sat there all the time thinking "Beautiful blonde isn't going to cut it. I want her to be a tomboy with a small chest. I want her to wear this style of clothing. I want her to not wear make-up."
If I do not put these details in, and Hollywood picks it up, they could change my whole atmosphere! My movie would be RUINED, in my eyes, because I had these details I wanted IN.

I never made it halfway through "Screenwriting for Dummies".

Well, that's not true. I read all of it, but in terms of doing, I never got past the halfway mark.

I still have the index note cards with pitches on them, though. In a very dusty dark blue plastic box.

So I went in a full circle.

If I can't write with no detail, I will go insane with detail and just write a book.

But the movies I had in mind were not good book adaptations. They had to be movies. It just wasn't right.

So eventually I came into this deadlock where... I knew I could write. I had been polishing it and working at it for ages, but. What good is writing if you have no ideas?

There were plenty of things I wanted to write about from RPs, but those were not MY ideas. They were someone else's.
And if it were my RP, they were not MY characters. They were someone else's.
And I couldn't live with publishing a book and not writing all there was in it.

I didn't want to be a liar. I wanted ot be intuitive and original.

So I just quit writing. I kept RPing, but I quit writing. My skill eventually slammed right back down to just raw talent since I was out of practice, and my hope slid down to a halt.

It was then I decided to view other possibilities- Voice actor, singer, photographer.

Writing was not for me.
I was, and still am, a firm believer that if you go to college for writing, it's a ******** joke and a waste of money.
Just like certs for ITs.

You already know the s**t. And everyone knows that the s**t you already know that you're paying to prove ot other people that you know doesn't even apply in the real world anyway.

Nobody cares if you have a comma splice in a fantasy novel if it makes sense.
No one cares you have a sentence fragment if it is suspenceful. If it proves a point. Keeps you hanging.

All college does, for writing, anyway, is make you more a**l and pessimistic and hate your writing.
And make you pay attention to format.

The only formatting thing I EVER paid attention to regarding writing were business letters. They were the first and last thing I paid heed to. Ever since I learned the business letter format, and the art of bullshitting paired with raw talent, convincing people through ink to join my side, regardless of how wrong it was, was a breeze.

The business letter format has one me awards. It has also allowed me to abuse some mod's views, and get some threads moved.
Hell. Business letters and persuasisive essays just rock. Plain rock.

But anyway, there's where my pure a**l-retentiveness came from for writing. Because I consider myself an expert in my head.
I know I'm an out-of-date expert, but my basic philosophy is- I know more than you.

I know all my mistakes in writing and I like them that way. And I can tell your mood through how you write.
I can also tell, through the professor's reply to a flaming report about his school, I do not want to mess with him.
Because not only is he wrong, and the flaming report about that school is write, but from the way he is forming his sentences, his intelligence is about as high as a meatball. With sauce.

And that's being nice about it.

Persuasive essays are a gateway to the soul and your life.

Back before I decided I wanted to be a Video editor, I would read people. Like a ******** picture book.

I'd tlak to someone for an hour or two over IM, and then I'd go and recite their childhood with about 60% accuracy without them even talking about it.
I s**t you not.

I got so good, sometimes I could tell what brand of stuff they had in their house. I thought I was psychic. I thought I was ******** God ontop of the world.

But all I was doing was just interpreting what they wrote through the way they wrote it.
I didn't realise it at the time, but that is what I was doing.

Unfortunately, there is not an occupation where you sit down, read letters, and determine what type of person the guy who wrote the letter is like.
Because if there was, I'd be doing it.

And if there was, I bet you'd need some heavy diplomas and certs to get that job. Which I'm not willing to s**t through.

The fact is, a very hefty chunk of that talent left when I just stopped looking for it.

One day, I gave someone advice based on what they wrote. Jack was going through a very hard time, and Ryan was explaining the situation to me through MSN.

ANd I told Ryan to get Jack out of the house, and to make Jack do something, because I had been in Jack's situation, and that is what Jack needed.

Ryan got a black eye.

Both Jack and Ryan agreed that I was right in what I said, and that my advice was fine, but I still can't accept it. I was predicting a little struggling, yes.
I was predicting yelling, and maybe some crying, and Jack staying in the car all day.

The majority of that was true, but I was not expecting Jack to punch Ryan in the face. And because I didn't expect that, somebody got hurt, and it was my fault.

So I bit my tongue and stopped giving out advice. And eventually, analyzing what people wrote went with that.

Sometimes I still get stuff. But only if it's really big.

For instance, Twistex.

When I first met him, online, I knew something was up.

To be honest, for the first half of our relationship(as aquantences, yo) the only reason I kept talking to him was to figure out if what I thought had went on was right.

I didn't want to bring it up because I could be wrong, and I'd be in a world full of hurt.
But I got Twist tot alk about it, and ********. I was right. But. It was SO obvious, it's like an insult I didn't trust myself on the first instinct.

The things I can see now, are the things I am 98% sure everyone else can see.
Maybe I get it a little more detailed than others, but it is still the same.

If someone else gets "messed up" maybe I will get "OCD because his mother had germophobia." But it is still the same concept.

I miss being able to predict everyone's moves, and know EVERYTHING.
I miss being able to gain someone's trust, and then when they tell me a secret they've never told anyone else, for me to be able to go "Uh huh. That's what I figured."

I miss a lot of things, and I know that.. I really love psychology, and it's something I really want to do.

But at the same time.. I'm too stupid to do that.

So I'm going to edit instead.

Maybe if I had picked up that Twist had a brother that ran away or something, that'd be an egolift.

Maybe if I had figured out that everyone on his dad's side had run away from home for the same reasons Twist would've done the same, it owuld've been cool.

But those things aren't true; I'm pulling them out of my a**.

And even if they were, like I said. No more psychological profiling for me.

There are no jobs where you sit and analyze people.

I can only think of one. It is for the FBI/police/whatever.

I don't know. Maybe I'll go with that if editing falls through.

Edit: Hope you don't mind me using you as an example, Twist. There was only one other person who I could use as an example, but I know they would've burned me alive if I had.