Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Things I've kept seem so random now. On my bulletin board that rests on my desk, I still have the chibi drawing of me hugging the cards that you promised to me one day. And in the puzzle cat box I have locked away the precious gifts from each of the girls. Every now and again I'll open it up and run my fingers over the items once more. Gold earrings from my mother and her locket remind me of home and my grandmother. Further down, Kitsua's bead necklace remains intact and carefully preserved. In a mess of tangled necklaces, my birthstone necklaces from my mother and grandma are intertwined. They were both given to me after graduation in eighth grade but my mother's gift meant so much more. She gave me a gift that said "I love you" in the purest form I had known since then. I honestly could say then that I didn't think she loved me. And in high school, it wasn't enough to just have that necklace anymore. At the bottom layer of the box, the heavier items are hidden. I would purposefully hide Mokona's star at the bottom of the box if I could. When I look at it, the star is no longer bright or shiny. It looks dull and lifeless like our friendship. The star died with her and instead of shining with the memories, it is consumed with the hurt. I wish I could remember so many more of the good times between us so then I could kill it, the darkness that shrouds it but I can only remember a few things like going over house or hanging out by the steps. I still have this perfect picture of her in my scrapbook where she's sitting next to Sam at a liturgy. She looks so pretty, so happy. Much happier items at the bottom are the ring that Jordan bestowed to me and Josie's elephant. Some of those find memories are talking in Econ class with Jordan, where just about anything was okay to talk about. We would share drawings and she would just, open up to me. I felt so special to be getting to know her. It was like she would be traveling companion for many many years, someone I could share even the most trivial thing with and she would listen intently. And Josie, well I remember the day she tested me for the pendant. She had two charms that I was supposed to choose which fit her more. She was really happy when I chose the elephant but then she paused like she wasn't sure if it was the right choice XD that makes me laugh still. I remember her voice and her running up to us in the cave to glomp. There are fragments in my mind of when we first met and tried to become friends. I would pass her in art and sit to talk to check out what she was sketching. There are many things I keep that I should probably throw away but I love what they've done to my heart, the good and the bad.

I'm sure you're wondering where the other items are because yours wasn't mentioned. I have my places and I have my secrets. The box is for things that I can't think about too often. It's not that I don't want to think about those people or the items aren't precious to me. The issue is that they are a gateway to thinking about high school and I can't do that. I'm not ready to uncover all of those memories just yet. The other items don't make me think of high school because I remember being over their houses and hanging out with them as the strongest memories. Those memories are overpowering and outnumber the memories of school.