- That's not Kelsey doing push-ups -- that's Kelsey moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
As an infant, Kelsey's parents gave her a toy hammer. She gave the world Stonehenge.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Kelsey once swallowed a turtle whole, and when she crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Kelsey once shot down a German fighter plane with her finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
What many people dont know is Kelsey is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape her wrath.
The First rule of Kelsey is: you do not talk about Kelsey.
On the SAT if you put Kelsey for every answer you will score over 8000
The saddest moment for children is not when they learn Santa Claus isn't real, it's when they learns Kelsey is.
Kelsey just says "no" to drugs. If she said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a woman, and vanquish evil from the land. That woman is not Kelsey, because Kelsey killed that woman.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Kelsey a giant meteor.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Kelsey. Kelsey eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Try it out your self here!
