Dear Brittany,
Happy Birthday Sis, you're growing up so fast.
I Still remember when we use to take baths together- But wow, your already 19? And myself 14. It seems like yesterday that we use to play in the backyard, with Speedy, Cookie, Booboo, And Angel. Now that I think about it, it's been three whole years, yes we've seen each other here and there, but never enough to catch up. I Wonder how you think of me now, How I turn down the phone when you call, or just say hello- and never take too much interest in talking to you. I hope you understand sis, It's hard for me to talk- It feels like I no longer know you... It's been THREE Years, that's so long, So- So- So Long. When you want to talk to me, it feels like you're a stranger, and it hurts to- It makes me feel bad- I wish I could take your place, and take- all your hurt away. You can take my place, and I'll take yours, I'd give anything to have you back home- I Don't tell that to anyone, but that's how I feel- I miss you, and I want you home.
I do have fears though, and sometimes nightmares, When we were younger you use to be cruel to me, and I never really knew why, You use to hurt me, but I was only seeing with closed eyes. I remember reading a letter you had written, about how you miss mom, and how she was the only one who understood you. I Do to sis, I always did- and I always will. We both went through a lot- We both lost our mother- And we both even- lost our father. We lost friends, pets, and even the smallest of things like our favorite toys- or our school work. We have been threw a hard life, a hard time, and a even harder road. A road full of twists, turns, ups, downs, and even some pot holes. We've lost many people we loved, yet we gained many new ones. But the one thing we lost, the one thing that I want to try hard to recreate; is our Sisterhood.
So many nights, I sit in my room, and cry. Cry about Mom- About dad, or Margot. About you, Keykey, Speedy or angle. Cry about loss, death, loneliness, or fear. Crying has been part of my life, But I have found many things to make my crying descend- leave- and disappear. I Still do, but I've found people who care, Jina, Favor, and Mizu are three people in my life now- that make my life bright, and no longer gray... Their important to me, in so many different ways- its unspeakable, of what I'd do if I lost any one of them. But Brittany, when I sit in my room some days, and cry- I Wish you could be there- I Wish I had my big sis, there to help me up aging- to tell me I'll be ok- to help me think of the good times with our family- Good times with Mom, Good times with Dad, And good times with each other. Someday sis, someday- I hope I can turn around, and see your face- and feel your embrace- telling me I'll be ok, telling me it's ok to cry, Telling me that you won't ever leave me.
I Don't know how to express my feelings on the phone- I really only can, in person or by writing. I have gotten in too much from these past three years. And one of them is writing- One of my many passions is writing- Writing- pomes, stories, quotes, or just funny notes. My many teachers, have even helped me along the way, helped me with spelling, grammar, punctuation, and layout. All of them said though, that even if I learn all the keys to being a better writer- the only thing I need to achieve is how I put my heart and soul in to my writing. I have gotten many crits on my writing- but also many eye enlarging, or tears as a reaction. I even will shed a tear once in a while- reading over my earlier work. Along with my love to write I also keep to my love for animals. And as I'm sure dad- or Margot, have probably already mentioned, but I love the wolf. The wolf is not only my favorite animal- but it's a part of me. I am not a human nor do I believe in human religions- but I am of my own religion- The main part of it is, having a animal as a soul- Such as a common every day house cat- to the magical world of the Unicorn. If you wish to know more of my beliefs'- just send me a letter- and ill send you the full blown script- I have it on my game called "Gaia" witch I have played for only 2 months'- but is one of the most known kids on there. Only because of my profile- which shows my adoration for the wolves- And also my story line. Back to my writing- I wrote you a poem for you<3 I hope you like it, and I hope you understand it. I love you forever sis- Don't every forget that ok?
I've thought of writing to you-
But I've been lost in what to say.
You've taken care of me,
All along the way.
I have used and abused you;
Because I have been lost-
And in desperate need of finding my way.
I'd like for you to stay,
I really don't want you to go.
But I know I have not been fair.
I've seen your death and cried,
Sobbed alone in the bed under yours-
While your presence was gone for the night.
I felt your absence and it hurt;
Because I know you feel mine when I'm around.
So consumed in my own world,
I forget that you're a part of it.
I'm sorry for the hurt and the sadness-
But please believe me now,
As a butterfly sits upon a flower,
Both benefit from the other's beauty.
You have sat upon me as your flower,
And I have wilted such a pretty butterfly.
Your vibrant color has faded, and mine has shown through.
Your flight has descended, while I have come into full bloom.
The rain is coming down strong now,
Pressing so very hard on my petals.
As I begin to drown, and my petals become wilted-
I will watch your beautiful image,
Flying high above in the sky.
This is your time to shine.
I miss you sister- And I will never forget you.
No matter the distance, No matter the length-
I Will always be with you, in your heart I will stay.
Happy Birthday Brittany-
Don't forget me in any way;
I Will always love you
Forever I will say,
I love you sister, Happy nineth day<3
 Wolf Memories · Thu Jun 24, 2010 @ 07:12am · 0 Comments |
