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So every once in a while I start out with "I think I know why I'm so screwed up" XD

This is one of those times.

Lack of positive re-enforcement.
When I was young, my parents we all negative re-enforcement. You know, spanking, belt, cussing, etc. Then they got intuitive and went to the writing you're sorry 1000 times, time outs, grounding, etc.

Everything I ever did could've been better. Everything I ever did wasn't enough.

So, I'm led to believe that is why I ask everyone if everything is okay, even for my own decisions. I bet it's why I feel awkward when someone gives me a gift if I don't give them one first. And I seriously hope it's the reason why I always question everything I do, and take two steps back and look at my past things, saying "Now why did I do that, what could I have done otherwise?"

Sure, it helps some, but it hinders more. Instead of being sure of myself, I always always ask a question. Sometimes people are like "Questions are good". But they're not. I hate them.

I hate not being told "Go do the dishes" (or anything vague like that) and having the urge to go "Well how do you want them done?"

It's the whole "Jump" and "how high" thing. Bah.

That's my self-loathing for today.

Onto the guild.

The Crimson Ibis has been pretty dead. Not in members, but in RPs. It all started before christmas time. People started leaving for the holidays instead of going "Yeah, I can't post any more" they DISAPPEARED.
So most of the RPs died, since everyone was waiting on one or two people to post before them.

I told the guild to skip over these people or boot them out of their RPs, but it has not happened, so most RPs remain dead.

So today, I decided to move it into high gear, and call it "pissant plucking". Pissant is the term I coined for the people who disappeared, effectively pissing on the people who are waiting for them to post.

I used someone as an example. And she was like, the most prestine example, since when I asked her if she would post so I could post after her, she said no.

So I name her name, say she's a pissant, and here's why, and ask for everyone else to name names so I can ban the other pissants.

Akina(friend of mine and captain of the literate RP guild) tells the example I used of the example being used.

So she comes(the example will henceforth be named "Ex" wink into my guild and starts flaming me about how I used her as an example.

And then, get this, she makes a note at the bottom "I only came back because Akina told me about how you used my name".

POINT PROVEN, DUMBASS.

You are a pissant.
Deal with it.

If you are going to be active in TLRPG and not even SAY you're leaving in the Ibis, you don't deserve to BE in the Ibis. SO shut the hell up, shove your ******** ego up your little a**, and move on.

Ex was a good RPer and active in many threads. She held up a lot of those threads when she left for no reason. After her little stunt, she said she quit the guild. Good riddance, is all I can say.

It's cool you're a great RPer, it's not cool you piss on other users and have an ego.

Ibis is not about quality, it's not about quantity, it's about COMMUNITY.
ANd I'm sorry, but I have to be strict when trying to get this guild active because of select pissants who decided TLRPG was better and didn't even WARN ANYONE ELSE.

I don't care if you move. I don't care if you say I'm an a**. I don't care if you "don't feel welcome" because you think you're better than everyone else because you can type a few more sentences.

Just let everyone else know, int he very least, that you're quitting, so we can WORK AROUND YOU.

It's polite to do that. Two week notice. Durr.

See, unlike everyone else who misteriously disappears, at least I can take the brunt of what you people throw at me when I say I'm going to do something.
I'm willing to bet you won't say you're leaving because you don't want people asking why, or telling you to stay.

I'm strict and I never complain about everyone else complaining about how strict I am.
I get more "and if you don't like it you can ban me" comments then I can count.
I'm not going to ban you for a ******** comment you made.

If you don't like me, you have every right not to. You have every right to flame me in front of everyone else.

You do NOT have the right to DISRUPT EVERYONE ELSE'S RPs because the guild isn't "good enough" for you.

When more than half the regulars leave because I'm strict, and I KEEP THE GUILD, and then they come back a few months later, THAT SAYS SOMETHING.

Despite what you ******** think, I CARE about the COMMUNITY and USERS in my GUILD, and if I, no we, can survive a blow of half the regs leaving, we're obviously tight knit.

I'll see you back here in a month or two, Ex.Not that I will like it. But I will bare it.

There are several people in Ibis I just don't like. Two of them are mods. I'm not going to demod them just because I hate them. They do a good job, and that is enough.

Techwoodcon.

Last weekend, here's how it went down.
I played Inspectres. It's like D&D but for ghostbusters + detective agency. Less math more making up humourous stories. It was great. x3 That was Friday, I think.

I also had my own hotel room and paid using my debit card, for the first time ever. I have credit, now. -has THE POWER-

Saturday I played Ninja Burger and had fun with Deek. <3
Deek is Awesome.

I watched Anime most of the day and there's two I really REALLY liked, that I need to buy and see when they get liscened/transferred over here.
There's "Flame of" something.. Couldn't translate it all. But it was about this guy who is dead but doesn't know it, and this girl who has eyes and hair of fire red/orange. The way her hair glows is beautiful.

It also has lots of blood and gore and monsters, which is also good. x3

The other anime had some weird name, Shutter Raid or something. It started with an S.

It was about a guy who was a photographer. It had lots of erotic stuff in it as well as blood and gore. The first few minutes was him taking still pictures of a boy who was being murdered. "I held the life of a boy in my hand that day".
After that, there was some woman he worked for, I think, and she wanted to rape him, but he didn't feel like it.

She started stroking him through his pants saying something like "Taking photographs turns you on, doesn't it?"
Then, after that, he found this secret organization. It was for rich people "All your dreams will come true, if you can pay enough" for them. Everyone wore butterfly masks and black cloaks. It was so exclusive not even all the rich people got in.

Photographer guy sneaks in, and looks in with grandeur. He finds this room, and there some people are asking for "the ultimate gift" which is extreme pleasure, or something. And they start chanting this "goddess" comes down, and Photographer can't HELP but take a picture. So of course he snaps some of the goddess, and everyone spots him.

So the owner guy is like "That's it! Kill him!" so the goddess comes to him and touches his head. The Photogapher guy looks like his head is about to explode, and the main leaer guy says "this isn't right! He shouldn't be expierencing the euphoria factor!"(that made no sense to me, since he looked like he was in PAIN, not pleasure. Probably a translating error of somesort) and then the episode ends.

I really wish I could remember what that anime was called. The first episode was BRILLIANT. and I NEED the rest. I mean. Come on. Anime about PHOTOGRAPHY! And it actually has an interesting plot!

After that I had a GMV panel. No one showed up, again. We really need to get rid of that panel. It's a waste of time. Maybe it's me. I'll talk to will.

So that was the first time I got really drunk, I think.

On Sunday I played Fluxx, Aquarius, Cosmic Coasters, Chrononauts, and Ice Towers. I really like Ice Towers and Fluxx. Ice Towers is so fun because it's actually in real time! Everyone is all reaching around the table at the same time and it's a frenzy. XD Lifesize would be SO FUN to play!

The only thing I regret is not playing Lunch Money with Deek again. Deek is like... I dunno. He's like. The rebel mentor/big brother I guess. I love him so much. I wish I could live with him and play with him all the time.

I also wanted to buy a Fluxx deck but we didn't have any game vendors this year, which sucked. I will voice my displeasure to Will about that when the staff meeting comes.

Edit:
The "Flame of" anime is Shakugan no Shana.
The photographer anime is Speed Grapher.