Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Okay so...I havn't written a journal in a VERY long time. Reason is...I thought everything should just be left behind me and forgotten about. Fact is I can't forget of ANYTHING. There has been so much s**t happening the past two weeks it's not even funny. Two weeks ago me and my grilfriend had a little spark fight...and that little thing went out of control and she left me. She got back with me cause she clearly loves me a lot and she knew I loved her. After that thing were going alright i suppose. Although I was going out more and just relaxing...and well guess what that did...Yes it upset some people...like my mother my step dad and of course..my girlfriend. She says oh it's ok...but I know it's a lie. I had not seen my best friend Anton for two whole god damn weeks. This guy and his girlfriend (shes a bit annoying) are just like family to me. I love them a lot. We have all been together through thick and thin. That was kind of drinving me crazy considering I used to go see them almost every single week. I missed them a lot and it stressed me out a lot. The reason I could not go see them is because I was being yelled at for using the car "too much". I do fill up the car with gas whenever I can but apperantly it's not enough. So obviously my parents bugged me for a job. Believe it or not I gave out OVER 30 resmes in my damn town and not even one response came back. Not even MCD'S! Anways I got called two days ago for a job at zellers and I got interviewed and I hope I get that job because I need it bad. I need my own car for college and I need to pay off my 900 dollar debt to the dentist. Along with these problems at home I've een figuring problems out with my girlfriend, school, and "friends". I have an on-line business course. Let's just say I have over 50 assignments...and only a month. I feel so behind so fast and now I am in HUGE trouble. I still pass highschool without it..but I don't recieve my Specialist High Skills Major. http://www.ugdsb.on.ca/shsm/shsm-business.html <--- this website shows more info. about the SHSM. Now after school problems I have issues like....idk friends. Now thank god I've managed to gain some friends but a lot of them are clearly my friends for my car and they use me. It's hard to say no because they will freak and I don't know how to say...just ******** off. That is causing major stress in my life because they are on my case everytime they see me. Im glad I`m only at school only like two hours a day. Now last but definatly not least...my girlfriend. I`ve been trying to be a happier person lately. Guess what. It`s kind of woking. I see myself smiling more often now even when I drive or just sit around. Although....a lot of times that smiling goes away cause I get reminding that I`m a jerk by my girlfriend. Today...I forgot the tme she was working till and thought she was ignoring me. After she brought it to my attention that she hates me and that she was at work...I felt like total s**t. Actually...at this very second she texted me saying she hates me and I am a jerk. It never stops...I appologized and you know what...with the situation we are in it is VERY easy to get the time mixed up. I feel so sorry about it and it honestly is not a huge deal...but I have a feeling shes going to leave me...again...And actually...she promied me earlier today she wouldn`t ever leave me. I`m hoping she will stick by that. Anyways...I also had to get stiches...on my thumb..I had four of them but i ripped them out because I thought they were not needed. Turns out..it`s healing fast and it`s not needed..So thats a good thing. I really hope I get my act together at school, get work done GET THAT JOB and sort things out with my girlfriend sad

End Of Entry #17.

Luke. J. Hollis.