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Vigil - Judging Results
Income Tax - 28
the devil wears chanel - 28
Ratt Scabies - 26
Tomo Ronin - 22
[~Swift~] - Disqualified.

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Income Tax

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Aevia ran. She ran until she could no longer. Her body felt heavy, her eyelids droopy, and in a bout of dizziness and exhaustion, she collapsed. No amount of fighting was going to help her now, as in one final struggle to get up, she passed out into blackness.

As she slept, her mind raced and filled itself to the brim with strange thoughts and pictures. Eventually it all came together into a swirling pool of memories, piercing the darkness, and dove head first into one. The vortex slowed and calmed, and Aevia began to dream.

Aevia was six, young, and very curious. A man, cloaked in shadow, was holding something over her head, a bag. A bag filled with water and a little orange creature. Finally! A fish! She had always wanted one. As she jumped up, trying to hold onto the bag to look at her new pet, the man kept holding it just a little too far away for her to grab. Her fingers touched the cool plastic, and with a giggle she tried to grab on. It was pulled from her grasp again. She smiled at the man, trying to look cute enough so he would hand her the fish, so she could love him and take care of him. Her long black pigtails swayed ever so gently, as she rocked back and forth with an adorable smile on her face.

Then, the man leaned in close to her. Aevia stopped smiling. It was her dad. But, it wasn't at the same time. This man, as a matter of fact, was cut down the middle, and stitched together. Half of his face was stuck into a smile, with a warm inviting eye. The other half was forced into a mutilated frown, with a red snake-like eye. Aevia stepped back, staring at this abomination. The stitches were thick, black, and very haphazard. His mashed up mouth tried to talk as best as it could manage, but he had two tongues. One was long, skinny, and a lizard's, the other was human. He had fangs on one side, and normal teeth on the other. "Come on, Aevia, you know you want it..." he managed to say. His voice was nothing like she had ever heard before, it was soft, but unpleasant, singsongy, but scary.

He brandished the fish at her, with his normal hand. His other one had long, black claws, and thick black scales all over it. With a deep breath, she grabbed the fish and ran up the stairs. She cradled the little plastic bag, trying to keep it from shaking as much as possible. Tears were streaming down her frightened face, as she ran to her room and shut the door.

Within seconds, the mutant was at her door, knocking on it. Thud, thud, thud. "Aevia...open the door..." it said.

She didn't. "NO!" she screamed.

"Oh? Well...I'll just have to...open it myself then....won't I?", and with that, he broke down the door using his clawed hand.

Aevia held tight to the fish, trying to hide it from this monster. It smirked at her, and let loose a piercing howl, that descended into deep, maniac laughter. It ripped the fish from her hands, saying "That wasn't very nice now...was it Aevia?". It licked it's lips.

"You don't...take things from people...it's not nice...", it continued.

Aevia started crying once more. "Please, please, just let me have him! I'll be good!", she screamed between gasps.

"It's too...late Aevia...you did something bad...and I can't...just forgive you...this time."

She stared at him with a horrified look on her face, her lip trembling. She lunged forward, trying to take the plastic bag from this creature. She missed, and the thing laughed again.

With one swift movement of his claws, he pierced the bag, spilling all of the water out of it. Aevia screamed, "NO! Don't! You'll kill him! He didn't do anything to you!"

It laughed in her face. "That's...the point."

It winked at her, and the room lit on fire. Her fish was the first thing engulfed, and the creature disappeared. Aevia was horrified, and stayed on top of her bed, hoping she'd be safe there. Her fish turned bright red, as it burned away, and once there was only ash left, the flames stopped. In place of her beloved, if only for a minute, pet, was a red flower. Aevia fell into tears. As she wept, all that could be heard over her was a familiar song, sung by a familiar voice. "Hush...little baby...don't...say a word..."

The dream's composed state shattered, the song lingering in the air, and all went dark. Aevia curled up into the fetal position and held her hands over her head, whimpering in her sleep.


Theme: 10/10
Character: 8/10
Appeal: 10/10
Overall: 28/30
Comments: There's a disconnect in story and avatar. But separately, I love them both. I wish I could give a perfect score, but the difference in what the avatar says and what the story defines is just too much for that.

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Ratt Scabies

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The only time Sheamus could think of running any harder or faster than he was right now was a time in his youth when his brother was chasing him; Sean had cupped a fat black spider in his hands, and Sheamus HATED spiders. At this thought, he laughed to himself; funny he would think of that moment again only when he was actually running for his life, instead of running for what his five-year-old self perceived as his life.

The group reached a meadow and Sheamus wasn't more than half a dozen steps into it when a bright flash of light and dust caused him to stop, stumble, sneeze...and fall to the ground, asleep before he hit the dirt.

In this forcibly induced sleep, he dreamt.

In addition to his obnoxious seconds-older brother, he had a kid sister named Shannon whom he loved dearly -- pretty much the polar opposite of Sean. Sheamus kept Shannie safe from whatever would plague her, both real and imagined.

In this dream, he couldn't.

She was out in deep water (an ocean?), screaming and crying, and to be fair, she had good reason to: a beast (Sheamus's dream told him, "shark" wink circling around her, nipping and mauling her at its discretion.

Sheamus, meanwhile, was on the land ("shore" wink , unable to help at all, but it wasn't like he hadn't tried. If he ran into the water to help, well... we've all had that nightmare where we would run toward or away from something and get nowhere, right? It was exactly like that. He would run and run and run, getting soaking wet in the process, but getting nowhere.


He didn't know how long this went on, his legs twitching in his sleep like a dog's will when it dreams of running through fields, but by the time the nightmare finally dissipated, his legs were sore and he had curled into a semi-fetal position, talking in his sleep and saying only one word:

"Shannie..."


Theme: 7/10
Character: 9/10
Appeal: 10/10
Overall: 26/30
Comments: It's not as symbolic as I would have liked, but it's not bad at all. I'm not sure if I'm sold on the idea, but I can definitely understand where it comes from.

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the devil wears chanel

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lois slance ran and ran and ran
until she could flee no more
her breath running short as she thought of her next plan
"i`ll rest for now," she decided as she tiredly cluched her stomach`s core.

she laid down to sleep
her dark eyes drifting closed
and into a whole different dimension her mind did leap
the foggy image of a dream becoming clearer as she dozed.

a battlefield
with yelling and shooting
bang bang! went the barrel of a gun, and lois hastily kneeled
this was no place to be cavorting.

where was she?
she looked around
it was only then did her eyes finally
fall upon a familiar looking man, walking towards her eastbound.

ah! it was the war her papa had been in
she knew his face and those tell-tale from pictures
he was aged, tan, always had a grin
his confectious expression like a fixture

but he did not smile now
he rushed to lois and whispered
"run, my daughter, as fast as your legs allow!"
she turned to him and asked, "daddy, why so distressed?"

"you can`t stay, or you`ll lose your heart,"
he responded
lois frowned, "what do you mean?", looking confused for the most part
"because war is an ugly thing," he said, sounding despondent.

he stood up now
and she could see the hole in his chest
she was mortified: "how?"
his heart, it had long been laid to rest.

but wait!
he unfolded his hand
his heart red and beautiful and beating as it continued to pulsate
"i`ve kept mine safe. take it with you as you escape this dreamland."

she gasped in surprise
gently cradling it in her side-arm
"i`ll take good care of it, it will be my most precious prize;
i will make sure it doesn`t come to harm."

then her father kissed her on the head
his face contorting as he bawled an array of sadness and salty tears
it was time for lois to leave and journey ahead
and confront her deepest fears.

"i love you, papi,"
"i love you too, daughter,"
and the two embraced lovingly
lois waved and poof, she awoke feeling a bit wiser.

she looked down at her hand`s palms
her fingertips tingling
her face fell; it was empty with no qualms
although, she had had an inkling.

no, his heart was in a much more special place:
right next to her own.


Theme: 8/10
Character: 10/10
Appeal: 10/10
Overall: 28/30
Comments: I would have liked to have seen a bit more of a dream tinge in the father. But overall, it's quite good.

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Tomo Ronin

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Antoinette sat on a grass noel, wind dancing around her causing her hair to blow gently in the wind. It was a peaceful afternoon, off in the distance the sound of foot steps echoed through the empty area she stood in. Turning to the direction the sound of feet were coming from Antoinette smiled as her eyes laid on her beloved, she had known him since they were young and they grew up side-by-side. They were truly best friends and lovers. Antoinette watched the sky around her prince charming shift slightly into a dark swirl. The man then began to be in golfed by a dark tread of pain that started to tangle itself about him.

Watching in horror Antoinette felt as if she could not move from the spot she stood. She had to watch as her beloved to be taken by the darkness, she saw the anger in his eyes as if he was blaming her for this. Antoinette gasped as he finally disappeared into nothing, only left behind his blue shoulder wrap. Tears began to stream down her face as she was left alone in the empty field as if nothing happed at all.


Theme: 8/10
Character: 7/10
Appeal: 7/10
Overall: 22/30
Comments: I'm not sold on it. The story seems nice, but it's not dream-like enough for me. The avatar is fine looking, but he really doesn't scream memory with a tinge of madness (as a dream should).

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[~Swift~]

No entry. D;


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