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Sidenote: For the sake of my friends privacy, I'm going to begin using sub-names for each of them.

So, Caleb hasn't really talked to me in days. I don't know what his deal is. Actually...I'm pretty sure that today, I did find out what his deal was. He hasn't really been at car riders either. Yeah. That's because he's been standing with Debby for the past few days. Gah.

So in my head, I'm thinking "what the hell?"

Only, I know what in the hell is going on.

Caleb lied to me. So many times. So many times that he knows if he tells me that he's been 'talking' to Debby rather than me, I'm gonna know that he lied and I'm going to leave. So much for him being afraid that I'd be gone forever. If he gets with Debby I'm gone. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of being jerked back and forth, of being played with and used only when whatever other girls he wants to get with hurt or reject him. I'm not his ******** rebound.

Sigh. And what's worse is that I know, even if he is/does get with her, I'm not really gone forever. I'm never gone forever. I can't do it. I want to leave, but I never can. I'm too entranced by the possibility...the hope. A big part of me wonders if he's mentally abusing me. He can do whatever he wants with other girls and still have me just as long as he plays all sweet and lovey with me every once in a while, so that I keep holding on to the hope.

cry

Comment pourrait-il me faire ça à nouveau? Je ne veux pas faire cela plus longtemps.