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I have an issue which I am sure you ALL want to hear.... don'tcha love internet sarcasm?........

Well, I take piano lessons. I met my BEST friend at a recital, and we communicate mainly by little notes in our weekly 'mailbox' at the studio. Piano lessons are starting to frustrate me because of CM (Certificate of Merit) and I have to practice more. I have a busy schedule because after school we have to take my brother to work (will you get you freaken liscense already?!?! scream ) right after school which cuts out of my homework time, which cuts out of my practice time, which cuts out of my free time. Its a vicious cycle that also cuts into my other communications with my friends on my comp, I also have chores that cut out of all of that stuff, AND my parents are getting more bitchy and up in my face. And because my homework doesn't get done, I get lower grades, and then both my parents AND my teachers rag me about. If I do everything they want me to do, I get NO time to myself. My parents are blaming my "slacking" (god) on my comp, my music, T.V, and even worse, my books. I can't live without my books. They are my life support. They help my self-confidence, of which I am lacking lately, and keep my mind off of reality (which, duh, sucks like s**t). And I can't sleep without listening to music when I do. My social status WAS somewhat rising from target to ignored in a positive way, until I started my emotional wave riding spree. Of course that means somewhat liking a boy, which is sorta weird since I used to dispise every guy at my school, getting into arguments more frequently, going from happy to sad to happy again in 5 minutes, and of course crying about the stupidest things. I've recently become more sensitive to everyday annoying noises, I'm sleep deprived, I'm pretty much starving myself for unknown, even to me, reasons, or I'm gorging myself. My so called 'friends' are starting to talk about me, they do more stuff without me, and they are getting in arguments more frequently. My brother is trying to manipulate me now that he has a girlfriend that he says I'm doing stuff for when I can tell its for him. They both end up begging me to the point that I do it just to get them to shut up. I have recently discovered that I can't get a boy friend until I'm 16, I'm 13, and everyone expects me to do everything for them and to be perfect. My parents and teachers are giving me lectures about me doing better or my best and Its annoying me to the point that I don't want to do anything. I used to like being smart and getting more attention but right now I wish I was an idiot, and the fact that my dad mocks and criticizes me and my work daily. I used to be able to write stories but now I have no time, and I don't have anyone to talk to that won't give me s**t about "getting over it" and all that crap. Thank God for Gaian journals......