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A Season of Purple
Full mostly of Roleplay characters and spur of the moment writings.
-headdesk-
I'm so scared I might be
I'm so scared that if I am, my friends wont be there anymore
I'm so scared that I make fun of them
I want to tell someone
But I know if I do
My friends wont be there anymore

Sometimes I want to smash my face against the wall
Just to see how much it hurts
When I sit on the bus
I'm not looking out the window
I'm imagining smashing my face in it

I know it sounds funny
But
I don't know how many times I've cried writing this

I know my Dad said he wouldn't care
I know he'll change if its true

Sometimes I imagine
I lived with my Mom.
Or that I was an only child
Or that my little brother was
Or what My Dad would be like without us.

I'm happy that when I look over those stairs at school
I don't imagine jumping off them and dying anymore
I still wish I was dead
That I never existed.
When I fell down the stairs last year
I wish I died

I still do.

I wish people would just tell me how they feel straight up
So I can stop and leave them alone

I'm tired of acting happy

Theres so much built inside me
I think my Dad ex girlfriend was right

I actually think dropping out
would be so much better
And I'm starting to hate the people
that I looked forward to seeing the most

There are only two things I look forward too:
Talking to my best friend who I only know on the internet
Then going back to sleep.






User Comments: [3]
Genau so Qual
Community Member





Sat Oct 24, 2009 @ 08:04pm


Don't act happy and be yourself.

Listen: I care about you. I don't hate you. But you must be barking mad if you think I'm going to abandon you because you stopped talking to me. You're a good girl, and it pains me to see you suffer.

Please don't give up on yourself. I'm canceling that 30-day notice (THE ONLY reason I put it up was because I've been ignored before by other people like that, but they just didn't want to talk to me because they were annoyed by me.). If you want to shake me off, you're gonna have to shake me off by force, because I stay true to my friends to the bitter end.

Now, let us fight and undo the injustices in the World, shall we? Let us take small steps to make the world a better place, and to prevent each other from feeling awful. Too many good people have died: the World would have far less idiots if good people stopped killing themselves.

I want a plus one on the idiots out there, okay. One more thoughtful girl to be alive over the masses of thoughtless idiots out there. You can't hear my voice, but I do worry about you a lot. I care about you.

And if it makes you feel any better, I've been melancholy too. I keep dwelling on that damn event not six months old, and it infects my dreams. I see those treacherous people dead, but even that saddens me (they're not dead, btw, they just decided to give me some sass when I was trying to microwave a hot pocket).

Speaking of dreams, remember when I said I had dreams about you many years ago? Those dreams were from a fear that I'd lose contact with you. Each and every dream like that was basically us going our seperate ways, with no way of changing it.

If you died, well, I'd rather not think about it. But dammit, don't suffer. And to all those people who've tried to knock you down, remember: they're wrong.

Use your pain to create great art, for it is from our emotion that comes our inner depths that we seek to hide from ourselves. I'm sure it'd be lovely.


Genau so Qual
Community Member





Sun Oct 25, 2009 @ 03:21am


Also, the school that you go to is ghetto as hell.

I know a girl who'd would reallyagree with you, unfortunately, I can't even tell you about her because you started ignoring me about the same time I got in contact with her.

Cheers!


Fancy This Vexxie
Community Member





Mon Nov 02, 2009 @ 12:26pm


That doesn't sound silly at all.
Don't listen to what anyone else says.
What do you think would be best for you?

I know we don't know each other as much as others,
but I'm still here for you if you want to talk,
or if you ever need help on a situation. Unlike God.
-referring to your other journal entry-

I've been told that I'm a good listener. It's difficult to bring me down as well,
so you wouldn't have to worry about throwing all of your s**t on me.
c: I can be like a personal psychiatrist. Minus giving you crappy drugs.


User Comments: [3]
 
 
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