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"These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women and cheap drinks. All these asphyxiated, self-medicated take the white pill you'll feel alright..."

Confusion reigns supreme in a world of blind, self-centered people. There it roosts, breeding like a cellular being, ecstatic at having a feast of ignorance. Some recognize its presence, powerless to stop it. Very few recognize the way to truly stop and listen.

"I'm beside myself because there's no one else, and I find, in time, only God could save you if you knew your way to the light..."

A hard knot of emotions has settled in for a long, cold miserable stay in the pit of stomach. What good is it being filled with the most miraculous energy if i can't use it to help anyone? Channeling energy has become practically effortless, yet i have no use for it. This ball, my core, inside me, glows with warm happiness, yet i cannot release it into myself, to pull myself from this depression. Death is NOT the answer, and i must steel myself against such foolish thoughts. I know I'm in trouble, and a few, well-meaning, kind-hearted souls have the decency to help me out. these people are the shining light of my world right now. Chantelle, Mr. Skaar, Alex, Carralissa, to name a few. I thank you, in ways you cannot hope to understand, but know that you are all deeply appreciated, even if it looks like I would rather die than talk to you.

"I will not bow, I will not break, I will shut the world away..."

I had not previously realized the effect being an outcast had on me. It has gotten to the point where it is consuming my every waking second, eating me from the inside out, having questions with no answers, and answers with no questions. Frustration only lasts so long before it turns to frantic desperation. I seek only the truth, to find what the hell i am.

"I am not proud, cold-blooded fake..."

You try, and i thank you. Help is what I seek, an you have given me all you can. I'm attempting to avoid a complete meltdown, but it may be imminent. Good night, and i will see you in the morning.