SO there is this giiirl and her name is Kristie and for those of you not reading this... I was generally happy in this relationship untill i found some pictures i shouldnt have, and later found out that she tried to hide them form me by deleting them, and then lied to me by saying they were taken in january when they were taken in june... i really debated on taking her back and i really still am thinking abuot wether i should stay or not.
I really dont know if ill be able to look at her the same way that i did before.. i mean i dont like certain things already but i got over one of those things but now the more and more i think all the signs are leading me to think of one word and i refuse to say it to anyone... i love her i really do but i mean I'm hurting i died for 5 seconds at the hospital because of this depressive and self destructive state im in... i mean i refuse to just let her leave and i refuse to leave myself but what if it comes down to that? i mean i dont want it to but what if it does? : i just dont know D: maybe this wasnt as "meant to be" as i thought it was? more like that i think it is... i keep telling myself "Ryan you 2 can work it out... if you can get through this it will just make you stronger" im starting not to believe it... and its rather irritating... i want her i mean shes my life the only reason i didnt tell the doctors that i wanted to die... shes everything to me and i dont want to get rid of it... she says she is going to open up to me but i really dont see it happening... shes just not comfortable with me... i have a feeling things are going to end and ill spend my life alone... she is the last girl i ever want to be with... everything i do is mainly for her... i could care less about myself when it comes to her she is first in my mind... maybe im just a love struck fool... that doesnt know when enough is enough? X_X i dont really know nor do i care... ive given her one more chance... and i hope she doesnt mess it up... sad thanks for listening
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for those of you who will never read this :D
s**t that you will never read >:P
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