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So I'm not sure if this accurately conveys the message I want to convey. The style was inspired by the "Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni" opening song (which I think is called "Naraku no Hana" wink . t3h p03m, 4 j00

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Walk in at night, turn on the light, the
Power’s been cut off.
I try to try a dozen times, but
Natural night breeds a blind mind.

If you were here I’d light a candle.
Your love was like the lights of chandeliers.
Your eyes would light the stars and bring them here.

There’s breathing behind me
“I can hear you, you can’t see me
and you’ll never find me.”
To bleed a butterfly haven gives
Twenty minutes to die! to ask questions…

If you were here I’d burn a candle.
Your burning love would vandalize my mind.
Your eyes would burn through this tapestry of flesh and heal me.

“This is for reunion.”
I’m seeking communion knives What do you want from me?
Breathing, beating, sweet heart screaming
I’ll carve as long as I’m alive, if I can find…
Twenty minutes to die! to BLEED

If you were here then I would kindle
Your love would kindly start a guiding fire
Your eyes like kindling as they burn again.

In the darkness, I hear breathing
Steps behind me, not receding
Whispers insist “You were cheating!”
Grasp and love and gasp
Your eyes (twenty minutes to die).

Now you’re here I blow out the candle
You love, and my lips won’t tremble for you
Our eyes fade as I twist the handle.

I ran to escape you
But even obsession was better than night
I wanted to rape you
There were just two bullets in your eyes

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So I know it wanders a little, but I'm not really sure what to fix about it. Also, it's supposed to be more like song lyrics than a proper, free-verse poem. That's why there are parts that seem rhythmically off; in a song, you can stretch syllables appropriately and such to make it flow more smoothly.