Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

My grandmother on my father's side is dead yesterday. She died in her sleep. I had to wake up in the mourning and go to my aunt's house. I thought I wouldn't cry but I did. Maybe it was because my aunt was crying. My father didn't cry but he must have been deeply saddened. The ambulance came to revive her but it was too late. She was already dead. I wasn't bawling like everybody else but I just shed tears. I suppose you don't appreciate someone's existence unless they died. Quite sadistic.

I heard from my other aunt that she was there with my grandmother the day before. Grandmother was praying. Uncle George said he knew he had a feeling that she would pass. I guess she knew because she was praying. Interesting how we can sense our death. Is it one of our abilities?

I suppose praying is a way to cope with our troubles. Many narrow minds today say that God and Jesus aren't real and that praying is poison to the mind. What a lie. It gives us a sense of hope and salvation. Religion is important for self character and a moral code. Science is new but faith is forever.

Father wanted me to take a look at her body. I refused to at first but he insisted. I hate it when he does this. I have already lost the apples of my existence. What more do you want from me? He explained to me that Kyle will not have memories of her and that I will. He wanted me to understand that life is sacred. He told me that I am smart enough to know this.

That is all I am writing for now. I have to go again.