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--------------------------------------------0. I-pods are considered weapons.
-------------------------------------------0. Our flag is the very best flag in all the land!
------------------------------------------0. Amanda Messier's Spanish Teacher knows her uncle.
-----------------------------------------0. I LIKE TO WEAR DRESSES.
----------------------------------------0. I AM YOUR SISTER.
---------------------------------------0. I AM YOUR BROTHER.
--------------------------------------0. I AM YOUR FATHER.
-------------------------------------0. I AM YOUR MOTHER.
------------------------------------0. I AM YOUR INCESTRIOUS BABY.
-----------------------------------0. I AM THE LAW.
----------------------------------0. I don't like plaid.
---------------------------------0. If you don't like people get your a** to the south side which is actually the right side. The more you know~
--------------------------------0. G.I. JOE GO JOE!
-------------------------------0. BECAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
------------------------------0. Jupiter is our only nuclear power plant.
-----------------------------0. Saturn stores all our vehicles.
----------------------------0. Don't touch my laptop.
---------------------------0. Seniors in high school and college recieve no special privledges because I'm so jealous. D=<
--------------------------0. I Tyler do not have to read this.
-------------------------0. The drinking age is Seven.
------------------------0. When forced into comming here you do not have to serve the furniture servitude and the Made in China tag is allowed.
-----------------------0. Everyone has to come because I said so! D=<
----------------------0. Chuck Norris is now refered to as, "The Other Tyler" (Exempt to my wraith if pledging infinate servitude.)
---------------------0. I can skip any law I want because I'm so f**cking cool.
--------------------0. No man, woman, child, or any other being is allowed the right to have a beard.
-------------------0. True men have beards.
------------------0. These are our laws, amendments, and rights to all citizens. We grant all citizens all the rights a normal citizen in the United states would have.
-----------------0. Do not walk into any classroom that is not your class if I am in the room because I will find that the most offensive thing I will ever know of. Also I lied about the whole having the same rights as the citizens of the United states thing because I kinda hate people.
----------------0. Do not talk during tests it is bothersome and very annoying.
---------------0. Never to forget to wish Mr.Bergang a Happy Birthday.
--------------0. There is no doing it again unless I choose to repeat the action.
-------------0. More.
------------0. There is nothing wrong with Tyler or his laws.
-----------0. Pelting your teachers with forks is considered an act of heroism
----------0. If The Guy sends you here your here for furniture servitude.
---------0. Do not complain about the amount of laws I choose to make.
--------0. Laws repeated will result in more serious penelties.
-------0. All morbidly obese citizens are forced into a weight loss program.
------0. No hunting the National animal I doubt you can kill it anyway.
-----0. The Congress is not allowed to read the laws ever and to prevent that all congress men are elected at birth and their eyes are removed.
----0. I am the only Tyler allowed in the isles all other Tylers will suffer the wraith of my beloved pet The Pants Dragon.
---0. I have pink hair.
--0. I make complete sense.
-0. Everyone is inflicted with a mental illness upon entering the isles.
0. There is no questioning the law.
1. Obey Or Die
2. Disobey or Die
3. Laws one and two apply when I feel like enforcing it
4. There is no such thing as write, right, or rite. And especially anything that rhymes with right.
5. None of my laws apply to myself for I am the Law and above the law.
6. On the north side you must speak like a gangsta unless I decree otherwise.
7. No Andrews EVER!!!
8. All citizens have the right to bear arms. (Not Guns)
9. All citiZens have the right to remain silent when Lord Tyler Sheogorath is using the restroom for I need the utmost concentration.
10. Tyler does not need proper grammar.
11. There is seventy days of the week.
12. All citizens have the right to free peach.
13. Tyler is a Necromancer, the Law, and the pope of the north side.
14. If a law is broken the offender is forced to one year of furniture sevitude for Tyler.
15. You can't question the law.
16. You must eat before you swim.
17. If you say god dammit you have offended Tyler and you will instantly be summoned two miles above the land and will fall. Then you will serve your one year servitude as my lawn ornament.
18. If you go to the south side and return you will be turned into a nothing and will no longer exist.
19. Tyler names all children born on the north side.
20. All on the south side have numerical names so we can distinguish ourselves from them.
21. All citizens have the right to public nudity in the winter.
22. If you are immigrating to the country from another country and your name happens to be Andrew it will be instantly be changed to Cole.
23. Tyler has all the powers of a God.
24. Athiests are not allowed on the north side.
25. All town guards are women in skimpy gold armor.
26. Too be a town guard and are a man you must strip naked, cover yourself in round noodles, hold a gun, swim around without eating, and call Lord Sheogorath Martha during the grey march.
27. You are not allowed to call Sheogorath Martha during the Grey March.
28. If you die you will be ressurected as a spoon.
29. There are no other Gods other then Sheogorath and Jyggalag
30. If I am holding my staff you must run in the direction I am running in while remaining infront of me flailing your arms and shouting,"BOOGLE!
31. On Wednesdays everyone will be turned into a senior citizen and will go to the senior center to play fun games such as CANASTA, BINGO, TAG, and WHEEL CHAIR RACES!
32. On Tuesdays you must call me Martha and attend the sweet rave party.
33. You have all the powers of Sheogorath.
34. There is no thirty-third law.
35. Two hours after you are born you will instantly be an adult and speak full English.
36. Due to my dislike of small children any children visiting the isle will be thrown into a pit full of blood thirsty canned of peas.
37. We encourage children to visit the Isles so you must lure them here through the internet atleast once a week.
38. All furniture imported from other countries must contain the tag "Made in China" or they will be launched by our space program straight into Orions belt.
39. All tourists are refered to as furniture.
40. You must shout "AMERICA! F**K YEAH!" When ever you beat Sheogorath's high scores in any video games.
41. Those who score a high score will be sacrificed to sheogorath in the feast of pens.
42. You are not allowed to use pens to anything on any surface or you will be thrown into a closet filled with childrens card games FOREVER.
43. The cake is a lie.
44. Anyone with brown or black hair will have mashed potatos thrown into their eyes once during their life.
45. If you are cool your hair turns gold and you will be come a super saiyan.
46. All super saiyans must go on a rampage every full moon and must harvest all fruits around the planet.
47. Polka dotted dresses are offensive.
48. Ear rings are also offensive.
49. So are black shoes.
50. Flats are offensive aswell.
51. Pearl necklaces must be sold for a spoon.
52. You must use your spoons to contribute to the mighty tower of spoons.
53. Spork worship is at 2:22 p.m. EVERYDAY ALL MUST WORSHIP THE SPORK!!!! OR YOU WILL BE SACRIFICED TO THE MIGHTY FIST OF CLUBS.
54. There is no talking about fight club.
55. All drugs are legal because observing everyone in their insanity is quite ammusing.
56. I AM SHEOGORATH.
57. Squiggles are the shape of every noodle! Any other shape is forbidden!
58. Rap music must be refered to as "GOD DAMMIT!" Unless Sheogorath challenges you to a rap battle.
59. Do not ask me for a pencil or I will throw god at you.
60. Beware The Ides of March! For Jyggalag is running his grey march. Which is a massive killing spree unless you join his side.
61. If you think about the game you lose.
62. You just lost the game.
63. The branches of the government are on the tree of the government, which is my fist.
64. If you say Chuck Norris he will be summoned just to round house kick you in the face. (Furniture Servitude does not apply)
65. Correcting my grammar will result in death by Bula Bula.
66. All pencil sharpeners must be equipped with a silencer from a gun.
67. Purple nails will result in being stoned with rubber cows.
68. We do not approve of the lady who was talking too me while making these laws. She knows who she is and she will laugh when this law is spoken of now point and laugh at her!
69. On the sixty-Ninth day of the week you must sixty-nine with your intimate lover unless you are under the age of -0.
70. Monday begins the week with AEROBICS!!! Starting at now.
71. Tuesday I already said what it does. But you must also eat tacos.
72. Wednesday SENIOR DAY READ THE LAW ABOVE
73. Thursday all must attend Thors mighty BANQUET IT IS FIT FOR A GOD!!!!!!
74. Friday you must find and destroy a copy of windows 98.
75. Saturday is caturday! You must look at pictures of cats.
76. Sunday is the sabbath so you are allowed to sit on your a** all day.
77. Funday you must work in a labor camp all day.
78. Bloogleday all must foam spit from their mouthes
79. SPARTA!!!!Day you must kick a persian messenger into a large pit of death.
80. Ctrl+F4 Day The country is stuck in the task bar for a day.
81. Bergang you must lecture your mildy abusive class for a day
82. Eye Candy day all are to be naked unless deemed otherwise.
83. Porn day and you thought this was a day where you watch porn! NO YOU MUST PURGE ALL PORNOGRAPHY FROM THE COUNTRY.
84. Blender go to meatspin.com and you'll know what the day is about.
85. CUHJIKA day He sucks balls so kick him in the nads.
86. Robby Mills day Play video games and drink a can of mountain dew.
87. Nazi Nate Day he will visit you when your sleeping. Unless your lucky. 99% of people are.
88. Christmas you must give me a present worth $200.
89. Water bottle day Recycle your water bottles cuz pollution is bad and will kill you all?
90. Immortality Day YOU ARE INVINCIBLE FOR THE ENTIRE DAY! Unless you leave the island, then you are teleported into a television. (Kinda sucks since TV's are getting thinner and thinner these days. man that actually kinda sucks. I feel bad for the idiots that actually leave. Hell now i'm offering a $10,000,000 award for anyone who does leave the island on this day.)
91. Zeke Oh Really Day You must convince him not to kill you or you will die. And he'll have a giant pet named rectangle (which is a dragon) and it'll just blow s**t up with its mind since it is too fat too move.
92. Nazi Appreciation Day If you actually celabrate this holiday you'll be arrested for racism and torn to pieces by a rusty wooden spoon.
93. Spoon ressurection day All who have died this week or last week will be ressurected as a spoon. If you die as a spoon you'll be revived as a Three Hundred Eyed beast that hovers above the ground, has mouthes all over its body, and can only screech really loudly.
94. Bad Boy Whatcha gunna do? Whatcha gunna do? When they come for you! (Basically unless you don't break the law you'll be hunted by THE LAW)
95. Demotivational Poster Day All must read demotivational posters and make some if bored.
96. Gender Confusion Day Everyone will be brainwashed by hypnotoad into thinking they are an asexual being for two days.
97. Normal day CHAOS IS IMMINANT SO ALL MUST BURN THEIR HOUSES, RAPE THE CHURCHES, AND BURN THE WOMEN. (The women will not burn because everyone thinks their an asexual being)
98. Mother Appreciation day All must pay tribute too their beloved fathers for allowing them to exist.
99. Rectangle Day Zeke Oh Really returns for vengence and this time his dragon is FIT!!!!!
100. Pre-Apocalypse Day All citizens must spend atleast 20 minutes of this day preparing for the Apocalypse.
101. Espylacopa This day resembles pure and utter anarchy. Citizens will all lead seige upon the south side and attempt to take over the opposing side.
102. South Side appreciation day Everyone makes Leis for the south side as a gift to repent our sins from the previous day.
103. Flap FLAP YOUR ARMS ALL DAY LONG!
104. Wage warfare on a random country day
105. Repeat Day Sucks Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
106. Repeat Day Balls Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
107. Repeat Day Because Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
108. Repeat Day It Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
109. Repeat Day Is Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
110. Repeat Day Endless Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
111. Repeat Day Warfare Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
112. Repeat Day Oh Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
113. Repeat Day Wait... Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
114. The day nothing special happened.
115. Repeat Day The Jr.: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
116. Repeat Day The Second: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
117. Repeat Day The Third: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
118. Repeat Day The fourth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
119. Repeat Day The Fifth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
120. Repeat Day The Sixth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
121. Repeat Day The Seventh: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
122. Repeat Day The Eighth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
123. Repeat Day The Nineth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
124. Repeat Day The Tenth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
125. Repeat Day The Eleventh: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
126. Repeat Day The Twelveth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
127. Repeat Day The Thirteenth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
128. Repeat Day The Fourteenth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
129. Repeat Day The Fifteenth: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
130. Repeat Day The Numerous: Repeat the day before. (Does Not Apply to the Gods Unless they feel like fighting)
131. Valhalla: All who have died once before in their life are granted access to Valhalla and are able to fight along side the norse gods and feast too their hearts content.
132. Google: We must all attempt to count to google.
133. Labor Day: all men on the isles become pregnant and give birth to hogies or orange soda.
134. Turnip Radish: Raggle fraggle daggle praggle kraggle naggle fraggle nakggle!
135. Salty Joe Appreciation Day: All must pay tribute too the true hero of the isle of Hags, Salty Joe The Peg legged Pawn broking Rat of justice.
136. Right: The apocaylpse occurs. Basically everyone is attacked by dairy products that have joined together to end all life.
137. Hang Over: You wake up with a hang over. And you will have it all day.
138. Marti Grai: Might as well let it go until next tuesday! Everyone must wear festive masks and display their insanity at the peak!
139. Clorox you must roll around in butter on this day and cover yourself in bread
140. PANTS DRAGON DAY! The pants dragon rises once more to cause mass chaos and drown innocents in used pants.
141. Murder is not allowed cuz it ain't cool yo.But if yo feel like yo need to you can cap their a** man.
142. I own the internet and all its contents.
143. Tyler owns everything you own.
144. If you threaten Tyler you will be attacked by a swarm of rabid fluffy bunnies.
145. Poking bears is not illegal infact it is encouraged. Know what now you have too poke a bear atleast once in your life now.
146. All frogs must caw.
147. No air guitar because I think it is annoying.
148. The only thing you can lip sync is one of my long a** speeches.Unless you are willing to cut of one or more of your fingers.
149. No internet dating cuz well it's just really really really gay.
150. On December 26th of every year all male citizens must shave their heads bald.
151. Try not to be born in March or you'll be stuck with a name like Clitus.
152. All orchestral music must be played with a vegtable.
153. No texting during class.
154. No pair of socks are allowed to match. If you want the right to wear two of the same socks you must run to the south side and come back.
155. If you rape someone I will curse you to have kidney stones for the rest of your life.
156. No throwing molassass.
157. If you are to be a god you must be able to blow s**t up with your mind.
158. I can blow s**t up with my mind.
159. There is a congress but they have no influence on the government what so ever.
160. All glasses must be squared.
161. From 6:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. laws 162-259 must be read in a singing voice:
161.b.
162. We are no strangers to love
163. You know the rules and so do i
164. A full commitments what Im thinking of
165. You wouldnt get this from any other guy
166.
167. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
168. Gotta make you understand
169.
170. * never gonna give you up
171. Never gonna let you down
172. Never gonna run around and desert you
173. Never gonna make you cry
174. Never gonna say goodbye
175. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
176.
177. We've know each other for so long
178. Your hearts been aching
179. But you're too shy to say it
180. Inside we both know whats been going on
181. We know the game and were gonna play it
182.
183. And if you ask me how Im feeling
184. Dont tell me youre too blind to see
185.
186. Give you up. give you up
187. Give you up, give you up
188. Never gonna give
189. Never gonna give, give you up
190. Never gonna give
191. Never gonna give, give you up
192. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
193. Gotta make you understand
194.
195. 162. Were no strangers to love
196. You know the rules and so do i
197. A full commitments what Im thinking of
198. You wouldnt get this from any other guy
199.
200. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
201. Gotta make you understand
202.
203. * never gonna give you up
204. Never gonna let you down
205. Never gonna run around and desert you
206. Never gonna make you cry
207. Never gonna say goodbye
208. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
209.
210. We've know each other for so long
211. Your hearts been aching
212. But you're too shy to say it
213. Inside we both know whats been going on
214. We know the game and were gonna play it
215.
216. And if you ask me how Im feeling
217. Dont tell me youre too blind to see
218.
219. Give you up. give you up
220. Give you up, give you up
221. Never gonna give
222. Never gonna give, give you up
223. Never gonna give
224. Never gonna give, give you up
225. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
226. Gotta make you understand
227.
228. Were no strangers to love
229. You know the rules and so do i
230. A full commitments what Im thinking of
231. You wouldnt get this from any other guy
232.
233. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
234. Gotta make you understand
235.
236. * never gonna give you up
237. Never gonna let you down
238. Never gonna run around and desert you
239. Never gonna make you cry
240. Never gonna say goodbye
241. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
242.
243. We've know each other for so long
244. Your hearts been aching
245. But you're too shy to say it
246. Inside we both know whats been going on
247. We know the game and were gonna play it
248.
249. And if you ask me how Im feeling
250. Dont tell me youre too blind to see
251.
252. Give you up. give you up
253. Give you up, give you up
254. Never gonna give
255. Never gonna give, give you up
256. Never gonna give
257. Never gonna give, give you up
258. I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
259. Gotta make you understand
260.
261. You've just been rick roll'd b*tch.
262. NO CELL PHONES UNLESS YOU HAVE A LICENSE! YES YOU NEED A LICENSE! IF YOU HAVE ONE AND NOT A LICENSE IT WILL BE PLACED IN CELL PHONE PRISON.
264. No eating fish.
265. All shoes must have aleast Three primary or secondary colors. Cuz well black and white is just to f**cking boring!
266. Since we are all about communicating emotions in this land. If you feel weak and defenseless you must wear a bicicle helmet with a blade on top of it of one foot then attempt to impail it through our stomach. If you cannot a gold star will be placed on forehead and you will get an A for effort.
267. Being gay counts as a mental disorder since it is supposedly a mental condition your born with.
268. Gossiping about your boyfriend is illegal if your in my presence cuz I think its really annoying.
269. To Rhomba, Or not to Rhomba that is the question! YOU MUST RHOMBA ONCE A DAY!
270. Making choking sounds infront of statues is a good thing.
271. I guess all sexual fetishes are legal as long as I don't see it.
272. Might as well make Poligomy legal too!
273. Hell why not even make speeding legal!
274. No cars allowed in the isles.
275. All books must be published by myself.
276. I control the media!
277. No writing on backpacks.
278. You can draw Male Reproductive Organs on the walls!
279. The only kind of bus is the short bus.
280. Guess what!
281. YOUR IT!
282. All tiles must be squared or you will suffer the wraith of prisms!
283. All Licenses are obtained in the DMV
284. All Wal-Marts on the isles are run my Adolf Waltler himself! Or they are illegal
285. Running with out flailing your arms above your head is ILLEGAL!
286. You must be this tall to ride this ride! (5'0)
287. Women have all the rights men do.
288. There are no goddesses!
289. Burp all you want it ain't rude here
290. Be careful when eating squid or Octopus because the ones here are huge and like to rape people.
291. All wedding rings must come from Jareds.
292. All have the power to implode.
293. Did you know I'm not fond of other people? The more you know!
294. The law is subject to change at any given moment.
295. NONE ARE ALLOWED TO PUT LAXATIVES IN ANYTHING I WILL CONSUME OR THEY WILL DIE!
296. To wander in an open field you must dress in sheep wool!
297. Free cheesey Brocolli when you Graduate college.
298. Led Zeppelin is our national hero.
299. If your gay or straight and acting gay. Don't f**cking touch another guy.
300. THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!
THE OMEGA LAW. Pluto is now a f*cking planet because I have declared so.