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you must have been scared after what you saw last night....
to be honest, i was not pissed off at all, if i was i would have not been able to think. slightly angry? yes, i was quite angry.

why ? becuase josef was being an a*****e, telling sonam she was angry at him because she rejected him, grabbing sonam's arm against her will, teling people to shut up every few seconds, thinking he is untouchable, punching me for no reason, i just had to show him he was not the biggest dog on this earth.

i almost became the thing that i was running from, i was so close to grabbing him by the shirt and punching him till first blood. he was lucky i was not totally pissed off, if i was, i would have not be thinking anymore and i would just be fighting.

even his friends could not help him, it was really sad. scott and him talk alot about gangs and mafia, but apparently all they said is bullshit. They have not been in a gang, i bet they haven't even fought for thier lives before. they were all so scred, they could not even look me in the eyes.

proud of the fact i scared them shitless ? no, i hated beating people up and getting into gang fights, i still do. there is no winner in such fights, there are only lessons.

At least now he would not go around thinking he was big s**t and getting killed like dope. only if i taught him to shut his mouth, he would not have been nailed an done suicide. he did not choose his fights at all, i regret that i did not teach him to shut his mouth when he had to. it has been two years now, i still regret not teaching him to shut his mouth.

im sorry for what happened last night, i just had to teach josef a lesson. i was too close to letting it alll out, so close that even whitney could not stop me if i did. she actually knows what it feels like when the whole world goes right past you, and your just standing still.