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I'd rather have honesty, no matter how much it hurts.

I have been hurt so much by honesty it really doesn't matter to me anymore. I know how to deal with it. I will do what I always have, just like last night. Honesty will hurt but its better than lies or hiding the truth. I need to come clean myself:

It's better than your fake smiles
It's better than your "friendship"
At least I don't convince myself day after day that "I'm a good person"
At least I am aware of what I do to people
Don't give me fake intentions
Don't give me faith in you
I hate that I love you
I hate that I am so forgiving
You deserve this fail
You deserve the honesty from me: I don't know why we're friends anymore
Remind Me?

More of a collaboration for many different people at once. Parts for some, parts for others but last line for many. Last night I didn't sleep. I cried half the morning, listening to the same song over and over again. I need a big a** hug and a slap across the face for being such a MORON. If you try to digitally hug me, consider yourself ********. Don't do it. I don't want pity either. I feel like I am stuck in Limbo land and it sucks. I don't know where to go anymore and I can't think of anything I can do to help. I only know how to delay, and delay, and delay.