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I just read someone's journal & it really touched me. I mean... like really touched me. Shredded me to realization. It wasn't a bad feeling, but it was a feeling that I noticed I'd go through too, either now or later on...
Sure I'll keep hoping it won't happen, I'll keep wishing he'll love me forever, keep his word.. but a word can last forever, the mind can last a minute.. and the heart is so random.. so.. not under control. A car wreck.. the car spins, it won't stop.
He says he knows, he says he feels. He says.. he says. He says he won't lie to me. But who says it WILL last forever..
my first.. was a girl, I thought I felt I knew I'd love her forever. But look at me, I'm pathetic. I left her for him, cuz he was what I wanted. I hate wanting, it's a stupid human sin. I sinned, I'm not proud. I hate sinning, I don't even mean to do it, I don't even know the 7 deadly sins...
I'm clueless, ignorant. Who wants someone like me. I'm an idiot at the simplest times. I can't catch on to things that fast & when I do it's that one amazing moment. The next time I fail, it never happens again. ******** my randomness, sometimes I think I have a personality disorder, but I try to keep myself under control.
I know that I can chose who to be, I can be anyone...
I can do what I want..
I can be sick or well whenever I chose..
I'm sure we all can..
But.. I do know.. that maybe I'll land on "one" person later.. hopefully I'll find myself. Or that one... that I know is me anyways. I'm only 16 give it time, we all go through it.
Too bad I don't do what I want often.. what I want I know I shouldn't do. So... nvm
I can be sick by just staying in a low mood all day, stress can really destroy your health.
I can be well just by putting a smile on. What's is like to be sick & not be able to control it.
Don't tell me I'm a child or tell me "You'll never be indestructible" I know how I sound, I'm not trying to sound like that child.
Just explaining my reasons.
This guy... DragonSageX has been through a lot, more than I have. He's opened my eyes a lot more than I expected.
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM, I've never said a word to him in my life.
I just recently posted a comment saying "Hey there =)" But other than that I'm still clueless!
Me.. it's weird ^_^
His dreams are familiar to me. Idk if that's bad or good, it was just really interesting.
Well, that's all I got.
 SnowW0If · Mon Apr 20, 2009 @ 04:23am · 0 Comments |
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