What is love? How do you know that you're in love? Who do you love? How do you know you love them. Love is something that I have found verywhere. In movies, in books and yes even cheesy songs. Love is a subject that is unavoidable. It is sometrhing that one feels at a poin in their life. I haven't written in a while and I am here to say that I have grown over that last period of time. I am now going to write because I have something to say and I want to keep my sanity intact. But I have recently experienced love for what it actually is. Before, I thought love was a tempoaray illlusion for despair and agony. Honestly, I thought it was all bull***t. But then I met HIM. I know it sounds cheesy. Same old story. A girl that was hurt in the past finally finds her prince charming. As simple as I may want it to be, it is anything but. How do I know I don't just have love for him? How do I know I am actually in love? The word love these days has been taken for granted and has lost its meaning completely. Now a days you hear people go on and on about the shoes they love or a candy they love. If we were in ancient times, and someone were to say I love you, it would have meant the world. Now, I love you means nothing. I HATE this. I cannot bear to say I love you to my dearest other because it has no meaning. There has to be something more powerful to say because I love you doesn't cover it. I am one of the many people in the world that has taken this phrase for granted. I say I love you to anyone of my friends or aquaintances. I realize now that I was only saying it because I knew it meant absolutely nothing. I knew I would feel nothing in saying it. I thought that it would never be possible for me to be loved. I carry a heavy burden and a long past that controls much of my personality today. A man has to have major balls to want to be with me. I tend to push away the ones I care for most and I don't even realize it until I am hit with depression. No, love is now nothing to me. Now he is my life. I know he would do anything for me without a second thought and I would do the same. But something has come up now as if mocking my evolution. I am leaving my beloved soon and moving to a different state at the opposite end of the country. We are fighting to find a way to make it work after our seperation, howver, you can only swing so many times until your arms get tired. I have convinced myself so many times that love is non exsistant for me. He changed everything and now I will lose him. Perhaps I was right the first time. Love is for the weak. I am stroong and I always will be.
Broken_Haven Community Member 
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