okay, so for my phone on V Cast I bought Dane Cook's 'Would you Rather...' (for those of you who don't know who dane Cook is, he's a comedian...) and Dane talks about a guy being attacked by a shark, a guy being killed by bees, and drowning and being ungulfed in fire.
'who gets killed by bees? anytime they come on the news, like, 'oh yeah, a man got killed by bees.' how do you get kiiled by bees? Like you're in the woods, right, and you see a bush and hear 'bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzz....' you just run away from the bush. who goes, 'oh is that bees? AAAH AAAH AAAH AAH!' dude, f-ck that, i would punch every bee in the face! bee's arent takin' me down! f-ck bees... f-ck bees... did like, sharks get together and just go, 'lets start attacking people.' the guy on the news again, just a couple days ago, he got uh, bit by a shark, and the shark let him go. just let him go. he was telling a story, they brought him back to the beach, which is like, the last place on earth he'd wanna go, near the ocean... and the news reporter was like, 'what happened? why did the shark attack you? were you taunting it?' 'oh yeah, i go to the beach just to f-ck around with the sharks. i have this thing called a shark rocket, and i shoot it at them, and it really annoys them. then i just wade there and let them come at me, but im really good at illuding them. i know this hit move, its something porpoises do, and then i pretend im a bottleneck, and i stab them in the gils, and it really is effective.' no oine wants to drown, drwoning would be the worst. cause everybody gets that feeling... like during the summer, pool party, you're like, ;im gonna go in the deep end, watch my dive.' right then you dive in and the second you get to the bottom, youre just like, 'GET ME OUTTA HERE! WHERES THE SURFACE?!' and you always come up under the kid with a raft, 'OOH AAAAH! JESUS CHRIST TIMMY! do not float above me when i'm dying in the abyss! your son almost killed me with his uh, daffy duck raft over here John! your son tried to murder me in your pool! Float away from me, float away.' this would be the ultimate worst, what if you dove into the pool, and as your under it someone pours oil over the top and sets it on fire! yeah then you're like, 'WHOA WHOA WHOA!' you just gotta keep swimming around feeling for a place that has no f-cking fire! then what if you found a circle where there was no fire but the second you came up a big dude just punched you in the face! 'GET BACK IN THE FIREY WATER! YOU DONT COME OUT OF THE FIREY WATER! cover up that hole with some fire now! get BACK IN THE FIREY WATER!'
--------------Dane Cook------------------------
--------------Would You Rather...---------------
--------------Harmful If Swallowed--------------
pretty amazing huh! rofl rofl 'who gets killed by bees? anytime they come on the news, like, 'oh yeah, a man got killed by bees.' how do you get kiiled by bees? Like you're in the woods, right, and you see a bush and hear 'bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzz....' you just run away from the bush. who goes, 'oh is that bees? AAAH AAAH AAAH AAH!' dude, f-ck that, i would punch every bee in the face! bee's arent takin' me down! f-ck bees... f-ck bees... did like, sharks get together and just go, 'lets start attacking people.' the guy on the news again, just a couple days ago, he got uh, bit by a shark, and the shark let him go. just let him go. he was telling a story, they brought him back to the beach, which is like, the last place on earth he'd wanna go, near the ocean... and the news reporter was like, 'what happened? why did the shark attack you? were you taunting it?' 'oh yeah, i go to the beach just to f-ck around with the sharks. i have this thing called a shark rocket, and i shoot it at them, and it really annoys them. then i just wade there and let them come at me, but im really good at illuding them. i know this hit move, its something porpoises do, and then i pretend im a bottleneck, and i stab them in the gils, and it really is effective.' no oine wants to drown, drwoning would be the worst. cause everybody gets that feeling... like during the summer, pool party, you're like, ;im gonna go in the deep end, watch my dive.' right then you dive in and the second you get to the bottom, youre just like, 'GET ME OUTTA HERE! WHERES THE SURFACE?!' and you always come up under the kid with a raft, 'OOH AAAAH! JESUS CHRIST TIMMY! do not float above me when i'm dying in the abyss! your son almost killed me with his uh, daffy duck raft over here John! your son tried to murder me in your pool! Float away from me, float away.' this would be the ultimate worst, what if you dove into the pool, and as your under it someone pours oil over the top and sets it on fire! yeah then you're like, 'WHOA WHOA WHOA!' you just gotta keep swimming around feeling for a place that has no f-cking fire! then what if you found a circle where there was no fire but the second you came up a big dude just punched you in the face! 'GET BACK IN THE FIREY WATER! YOU DONT COME OUT OF THE FIREY WATER! cover up that hole with some fire now! get BACK IN THE FIREY WATER!'
--------------Dane Cook------------------------
--------------Would You Rather...---------------
--------------Harmful If Swallowed--------------
