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It's one of those nights... I'm feeling alone, despite having been around people all day. It doesn't hit me often, but I'm wishing that there was someone in my life. I'm feeling as though my chances are falling with each passing year as what little appeal I have diminishes. I am alone and there seems to be very little evidence to demonstrate that it will change anytime soon. I don't expect for everything to be better as a result, or that it would be a form of completion to my life. I just know that there is something more to this life that I'm living and that I'm not getting the chance to experience anything but the negative downside of romance. I feel jaded/callous/denied/deprived/rejected. I keep trying to identify all the reasons why I'm better off alone. I keep convincing myself that there are enough reasons why I should be single that they outweigh any alternative. I can't say that the reasons I've defined are false. They are all based in fact. I just wish that I could override fact and have another chance to try. I'm tired of reliving experiences through memory and recollection when asked about my life. I know that in a day or two, I will be back to my old self... I'll be content as I am. I'll be happy to be single. I'll be glad that I've stood up for my values. I'll be thankful to have stayed strong and not sacrificed something to feel a shred of worth. I'll look back on this entry as a product of sleep deprivation. Regardless... I feel this way now.