Ironic, because it's the thing I hate the most.
But right now..
It feels like something's changing.
Like what I've been waiting for is finally happening...
The thing that seemed so far away for so many years is here..
It's like the dawn is finally breaking after a long, sleepless night..
I think I'm happy.
I just learned to smile and tell the truth at the same time.
I didn't have to stay numb, afterall. It's amazing just to feel again. And feel good, nonetheless.
But I'm scared.
I'm scared of joy.
It's such a fragile emotion.
I'm terrified that this is temporary.
I haven't felt so alive in years.
And I'm so afraid something's going to happen to make me die again.
I'm so afraid that this will end and I'll have to go back into that abyss, that black pit I just escaped from.
So be careful with me.
