I dunno, I feel in a much free-er and New Age-ish today. Last night I decided to stay up until midnight. I then woke up to stare at the moon at seven in the morning. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I had watched Conqueror of Shamballa and I started to feel sick afterwards.
Okay, that really isn't reason I'm writing. My good friend was talking to me and I started to think about something that I haven't thought about in a really long time. Have you ever had the feeling that there are other people in your head? Or at least that the person that you are on the surface is really a facade to hide a deeper turmoil underneath? It hurts doesn't it? It makes you blood boil and your head spin as you try to decode yourself. It doesn't make any damn sense. Humans make no damn sense period.
Becuase there is always that person lurking underneath, in the blackest parts of your mind, shouting for you to let them go. To rip. To tear. To destroy.
Or it's the part of you that likes something that you know you can never like. Something fiction. Something that doesn't exist. Something beyond your reach. Sometimes its like you don't know what you are, huh?
All of us seem to have this scizophrenia. All of us. I see all the time. There are people on top, while underneath is something completely different. There are battles within your very head, taking ideas and ripping them apart, taking thoughts and capturing them or burning them.
And you don't ever want to look at those parts of you. They are like an infestation, a disease that if you keep in the back of your mind, it'll go away. But it'll keep feeding itself, whether you like it or not. It's part of you. If you destroy it, you'll destroy part of yourself and you'll never be the same. Part of you will feel empty and lost. It will try everything to fill it in.
That part of you is your identity, however gruesome it is. The idea is to tame it.
Become part of it. It has already become part of you.
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