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Grr. Why does this always happen to me? |
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So, I've been dating this girl for, well off and on for over a year. We broke up over the summer, and got back together at the end of summer.
Saturday night she signs on and starts telling me about this guy she's had a crush on, and how she liked him, and how upset she is that he's getting married. (She's telling me -her gf- about this) and then she got all weird acting and decided to go to bed. I had no problem with anything that happened and didn't give it a second thought. Well, that night I sorta had a bad night and left a status msg saying "the beast is growling, run if you wanna survive" I totally forgot about it.
Yesterday (Sunday) she signs on and sees the status msg and decides I'm mad at her. I wasn't. I hadn't even thought about what she had told me about the guy she liked getting married. Why the hell would I? He's getting married, her and I are together, who gives a rats a**.
Well, she signed on and started acting like I was mad at her, I wasn't. I told her I was tekteking and she decides I don't want to talk to her. I told her "brb, gonna get something to eat" and she says "well, it's obvious you don't want to talk tonight so I'm just going to go." I have nooo idea why she acted this way, but I talked to my two best friends that both know her and they said she's probably pissed off that I didn't get all jealous acting when she was talking about the guy getting married. I left her a msg telling her that I wanted to talk to her about this, and she leaves me an offline msg telling me this:
"Jen": dont worry about...
"Jen": i was just angry
"Jen": im sorry
"Jen": i wont be on for a while...i just need time to think..im to upset to talk right now...i care about you alot but i need time to think...
So, after reading this, I sent her back a loong reply. Basically telling her that how she's been acting is unstable and I don't want to be around a person that gets so wrapped up in the fact a guy she had a crush on is getting married to a friend of hers that she starts acting like a total b***h to me, the person she's supposed to love.
I said in my reply to her
"And if you really loved me why the ******** would you be bitching about some girl marrying a guy you had a crush on? Your chance of getting with them is officially over, I was supposed to be the one you "loved" but I guess you love alot of people, huh? I'm nothing special."
There was alot more in the reply I sent her, but I what I don't get is why she acted so weird and accused me of being mad at her, when I wasn't.
Well hell, here's my whole reply to her.
WatchTheSunDie: To think about what? What's there to think about? Oh I get it, you're not gonna be on because you're not sure if you wanna be with me or not. I totally get it. You acted like a total psycho thinking I'm not wanting to talk to you, that I was mad at you, and I WASN'T MAD UNTIL NOW. How you acted, you jumped to the conclusion that I was mad at you, reasons? I have no ******** idea, but I simply forgot to change my status msg last night, and now it's caused a rift in your cosmic world. I still don't get why you're acting like this, it's total highschool bullshit. But ya know what, I've done some thinking as well. I didn't need alot of time to do it, because I can make a choice and not have to worry about it being the right one or not and I don't think we should be together. You're too unstable emotionally, and I don't want to be dating someone that's pissed off and going all nutcase because their friend is marrying a guy they had a crush on. Who ******** cares about that! I've had alot of people I know marrying guys I had crushes on, you don't see me calfing out over it and then acting like my girlfriend doesn't want to talk to me. This is ******** ridiculous.. And if you really loved me why the ******** would you be bitching about some girl marrying a guy you had a crush on? Your chance of getting with them is officially over, I was supposed to be the one you "loved" but I guess you love alot of people, huh? I'm nothing special.
So yeah. I ended it with her. She doesn't know it because she hasn't checked her offline messages, and I don't feel like calling her and arguing because I've got a sore throat etc. And the last thing I wanna do is strain my vocal cords more than they already are. I'd end up losing my voice completely. Last night after I read the msgs she sent me, and how she acted; I decided that she wasn't worth my time for a 3rd time. Third times a charm, so they say but it's true. I've spent over a year off and on with her and it's caused me nothing but trouble.
The first time we broke up was because she wanted to go out with this girl named Rach. I knew something was going on with them because they were too flirty when we were together, so I "stepped aside" and let them get together. They weren't together 6wks and then Jen was miserible. So the second time we got together was my fault. I felt I could make her happy. And we were until early this summer when I fell for a guy, that ended up being a mistake and I admit it. Then she asked me out late this summer and I said sure. Boy, I've been kicking myself in the a** ever since. I'm done with her.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I'm single again ~_^
Edit:
"Jen": first of all dont accuse me of jumping to conclusions okay when thats what your doing now. wtf are you talking about. this has nothing to do with that! i only said i needed a few days to think and be offline because im really upset right now with all this bullshit at home. and i already apologized for saying what i said the other day i was upset and i took it out on you. you want me to say it again? IM SORRY!!!! okay...
"Jen": idk how you can doubt my love for you...ive always told you that if there was ever a woman in my life i cared for more than my own mom and that i would marry in a heartbeat was you! i love you! i always have and always will.....
"Jen": i cant believe you even said half the s**t you said...unstable emotionally? give me a break okay dont go there. everyone has a right to be sad or happy sometimes why should i be any different? thats not fair...and so wrong to say when you know all that i ever go through....
"Jen": and your my best friend of above all else.... i was only upset about that guy because he is a good friend of mine and didnt tell me but that ended quickly and i was upset that day and you seemed like you didnt wanna talk to me by being so frigid...
"Jen": and yes i love alot of ppl because i care about my friends and wow....that is so damn wrong to say...your acting like if i was some sort of whore who wants to be with everyone and i have no right to love someone else?.....*shakes head* thats not fair...
"Jen": i never said i didnt wanna be with you...i love you...you should know that but with what you wrote looks like i was wrong...im so shocked right now i cant even think straight.......
"Jen": im sorry i made it look like i was mad at you or vice versa or whatever started this...i love you...please know that...i always have and always will....
"Jen": im going through so much bullshit right now and to add this to the list..well that makes my day XD...if want it to be over than okay i accept that because its what you want and i respect that. i just hope you will not hate me or stop being my friend because of that....that would hurt more than somebody ripping my heart out....
"Jen":<3
"Jen" is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
 WatchTheSunDie · Tue Nov 25, 2008 @ 04:09am · 0 Comments |
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