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1.No matter how drunk or high you are, the minute you get called down to the office, it all goes away.
2. Teachers are not idiots, if you spend the whole period laughing hysterically for no reason, they WILL know you're stoned and send you to the office. But luckily, thanks to number one, you will not get caught.
3. If you have a class in a portable, and it's winter, and -15 C weather and the teacher tells you to stop talking, stop talking because he has no problem sending you to sit outside for the rest of the period without a jacket.
4. If the situation explained above happens to you, do not light a cigarette in an effort to keep you warm, because you will get caught and get suspended for smoking on school property.
5. If you get suspended for smoking on school property, your parents will find out you smoke.
6.Fixing the hallway doors so that they only open a little and people run into the doors and get hurt, is only funny until someone breaks their nose,and the video cameras have it all on tape.
7. If something bad happens in school, the principal goes back and watches the tapes.
8. Even if you can't see them, the video cameras can see you.
9. It is not wise to have a snowball fight with one person inside and one person outside because eventually a window is going to get broken.
10. Video cameras are everywhere.
11. If you're supposed to get suspended for something, and the principal decides not to and tells you to go back to class, go back because he's going to page the class 10 minutes later to see if you're there.
12. If you don't go back, you will get suspended.
13. Stealing computer speakers from the computer lab and hooking them up to your cd walkman, and pressing play during english class is not a good idea for several reasons.
14. If you have to write a six page essay on why you did the above(#13) you begin to run out of ideas after the fourth sentence.
15. If an english teacher makes you write out an essay as punishment,make sure you have the correct grammer and spelling because they will make you write it out again.
16. When skipping class, do not walk by the class you are skipping.
17. If you skip school, you have to write out the attendance policy.
18. The attendance policy is really, really long.
19. If you decide not to write out the policy,you will get a 5 day suspension. And you will also have to write out the policy 5 times.
20. When a teacher says: "if you have a question, any question at all, feel free to ask.", they don't really mean that.
21. If you ask an "uneducated" question, or a question not relating to the subject the teacher is discussing, the teacher will never answer another one of your questions.
22. Accidentally squirting water into an electrical outlet in science class and not telling the teacher so she knows for future classes for the rest of the day, is not a good idea.
23. Squirting water into an electrical outlet is actually a really bad thing to do. People can get hurt.
24. Video cameras are also in classes.
25. If you don't tell your teacher about squirting water into an electrical outlet at the time it happenend, it is no longer an accident.
26. If you show up to class stoned every day, eventually your teacher will assign you an EA(Educational Assistant) teacher to personally come in and help you and only you every day, because your teacher thinks your slow.
27. Having an EA is really cool. They do all the work for you and give you all the answers.
28. Saying you're not the only who does it, is not a valid excuse for anything.
29. Never ask someone who's anti-social a question, because they will just look at you like you're weird, and not answer your question.
30. When passing notes in class do not use someone who's a "nerd" as part of the transportation line to the other person, because they will not follow the plan, end up causing a huge scene and hand the teacher the note.
31. Do not swear or make fun of your teacher in notes.
32. If you're really quiet when you're in the bathroom, you can hear a lot of things about other people that you can eventually use as blackmail.
33. Blackmail is a very powerfull thing.
34. You know your principal calls your house too often, when he asks your mother how her herb garden is doing.
35. If you get a late slip for class, you are no longer marked absent, instead you are late. This is the key to skipping without getting caught.
36. If you get a late slip every day eventually they start paging your class to see if your there.
37. Saying you did it because you felt like it, is not a valid excuse for skipping class.
38. "Giving attitude" to the principal will get you suspended.
39. Secretaries are allowed to be rude to you.
40. However, you are not allowed to be rude to them.
 mthica · Fri Oct 07, 2005 @ 02:29am · 7 Comments |
