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Oh bother, bother bother bother. |
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Boooootheeeer... it sounds like such a funny word when you say(spell) it more than once.
Man, I've been ******** manic, hungering for SOMETHING to do on Halloween. I ran down the order of the popular holidays to one of my BFFs the other day, Halloween coming up third (after my birthday and the NDK, which aren't really 'popular holidays'), and I've just been dying to do something. Get invited to a party, go trick-o-treating, something ANYTHING to celebrate. I wish I could party like it was 1899, but s**t like that's dead and gone. But alas, I was ready to burst with excitement, but the 29th, 30th, the 31st just made me realize how pathetic my need was. I don't have the kind of friends who party, and those that do don't particularly want to party with me. I'm not a shame-friend by any means, but I do get manic, and I tell myself that's why I don't get to hang out with my friends' friends. All it ends up with though is me at home on my favorite (real) holiday, like every other day.
So yeah, the pendulum's swung back and I don't seem to care much 'bout nothin' at the mo'. Sent a message to one of my favorite people. I checked my sent box to give it a look over. I tend to always check it, just to see if it sounds as good as it did when I wrote it, only to find it wasn't there. Waited a day, waited three days but it was a no-go. So I spoke to her about it, nonchalantly. "What did you think of this? What did you think of that?" to which (to my pride) she gave non-descript answers, neither confirming she read or didn't read said note. Alas, she made it sound as if she had gone over it while her subtext swayed towards, "I didn't read it."
I have it saved, on my hard drive. I could resend it to her at any moment, and almost have already seven times, but it didn't feel like she was rea~ally interested, so I'm leaning towards, '******** it'. Which I feel is a shame, as I wrote some really cool stuff in it! But, also a lot of really shitty stuff that I'm pinning onto, "The kindly ones didn't think it was appropriate to send, so they plucked it out of reality, and I should take that as a sign not to resend it."
So there you go. ...why am I even telling you this?
 Barghest · Fri Oct 31, 2008 @ 01:30pm · 0 Comments |
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