Somthing you said
I'm so sick of you treating me the way you do! I used to be strong, then you got it in my mind I was all bark and no bite, that you were stronger then me, better then me, like I just became your evil minion! I'm sick of being walked on! I'm sick of keeping myself from crying just cuz you told everyone how stupid my shirt looked that day! I want to be your friend but why the hell do you make it so hard! Your the pit I fell in and I can't get out! Your the reason I'm drowning! Lets see how week I am when I tear down everything that you are. All you love! I don't care about sinking lower then you anymore! There is nothing lower then you! Do you even realize how much you hurt me!? my "Best friend?" Screw you! Leave my spirit be! Go break someone else! You deserve worse then me! But you know I won't tell yout his because you know I'm scared to be alone. To have no one to talk to...I would rather have someone who hurts me everyday then have no one at all...and that's why I'm weak...But I won't go down with out leaving at least one scar on your heart, one last bad memory in your mind, one tear at your oh so solid spirit, I don't care how bad your life is...It's time to stop dragging me down with you. (/you can't...) i know...
Something about the other day...
Maybe I was just being careless when I fell for you. we both know love isn't something that comes true. It's not like it matters. I won't tell you I'm way to freaking shy. My best friend always says I will always be lonely because I lock my self up tight. I try to be social but people just criticize my opinions and shut me out. I give up! I guess I can accept being alone (I CAN'T!) people are going to force me in that direction anyway. Why fight it? (I LOVE YOU!) Can't you see that even now I'm contradicting myself? I can't hear the thoughts that are important to me because that thoughts that are trying to kill me are taking over. Rain has started to fall. higher and higher the water rises. I can't breath (Do I want to?) tell me to keep trying. tell me that I'm worth it. Beg me to keep going! Don't just sit their with your friends while you watch me drown. (i give up) I will keep going (i won't) I will tell you how I feel (I can't) is my love for you just my hearts desperate plea for attention? Is it real (no...) yes? (no!) Shut up! I feel like I;m being split in two. Whjat I believe and what I want to believe (There is nothing to believe. No no no! I am worth it! (are not!) Help me. save me. (Don't....its a waste of time) Fix me even if i don't look broken.
over my own line
Alright... Alright.... I get it. I know That I'm not the most social person in the world. I always turn you down when you invite me to sports games or club activities. Thats just because I'm always busy... But I'm one of those people who always has to choose. Good grades or fun with friends? 1 night of fun and get grounded or just to my homework like a good kid... It hurts so bad sometimes being the one who gets to sit around at lunch and listen to you all talk about what a fun night you had, how cool it was to watch our school's team win. It makes me feel so lonely, when you guys get to talk about your perfect boyfriends or the cute boys you met when you were all out having fun. I'll just be sitting here...studying for some test or working on some project, having to clean up around the house before it becomes a big mess again...the worst is that when i finally get the weekend 2 great days of nothing, I'm to tired to go out and do anything....then the miserable cycle begins again on Monday....
 XAngelicShadowXX · Tue Oct 14, 2008 @ 04:46am · 0 Comments |
