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Deidara had been accused of robbing a jewlery store.
"Um, Leader-sama, I have to go on trial and I was wondering if I could borrow some money to afford a lawyer."
Leader burst out laughing. Deidara's facial expression did not change. He gradually stopped laughing.
"Y-you're serious?This organization is completely broke. Why do you think the most evil organization in the history of manga has its headquarters in a rock? A rock!"
Deidara sighed and walked off to find Kakuzu, in hopes he'd be able to borrow some money.
"Kakuzu, could I borrow some cash? I know you're rolling in it."
Kakuzu was, literally, rolling in cash.
"Sure...just sign this contract."
Deidara looked over the contract, muttering words from it to himself. "Legally binding...ownership of my soul...no cash obligation...OK." He signed and handed it back to Kakuzu, who started laughing.
"Didn't you even read it?"
"Yeah...well...sorta. There was something about my soul and cash..."
Kakuzu continued laughing. Deidara walked away.
"Deidara, I've found a lawyer for you," said Leader, who had been looking for Deidara.
"You got enough money to hire one?"
"Not exactly...but I believe he will be suitable...enough." Leader snapped his fingers.
A orange and black blur streaked past Leader and latched onto Deidara's arm.
"DEIDARA-SENPAI! TOBI IS GOING TO BE YOUR LAWYER! Tobi doesn't know what a lawyer is but Tobi will do his best!"
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"This court will now commence," said the judge, Tsunade, banging a gavel.
The prosecutor's lawyer, Morino Ibiki, was up.
"So, Nameless Extra," said the ninja/lawyer, talking to the jewlery store owner who was in a wheelchair, badanged from head to toe. "You say that this woman attacked you then robbed your jewelery store?"
"OBJECTION!" shouted Diedara.
Tsunade banged the gavel. "Overruled. The defense is reminded that this is not Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney."
Sometime later, Diedara was put on the stand.
"Did you not not not not not not rob the jewlery store?" asked Ibiki.
Deidara was utterly comfused"Um...y...n...no...yes...um...no...yes...?"
Tsunade banged the gavel again. "The prosecution is reminded that they are not allowed to psychlogially torment the defense."
"Sorry," apologized Ibiki, "Old habits die hard."
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"Tobi, I hope you have a plan." The case wasn't going too well.
"Don't worry Deidara-senpai, Tobi has the race car!"
"Don't you mean the 'race card?' "
"No, Tobi means the race car! The one that goes vroom, vroom!" Tobi mimed driving a car.
Deidara did an anime face fault.
It was the defense's turn. Tobi walked up to the front.
"Tobi points to exhibit A!"
The jury looked where Tobi was pointing. A card on a table read 'A' but there was nothing there. The jury turned back to see Tobi eating a sandwich.
"A sandwich?"
"Not an ordinary sandwich! A tuna sandwich!"
"Objection!" shouted Ibiki. "This has nothing to do with the case."
"TOBI OBJECTS!"
"Will the defense be reminded that it cannot object to an objection," said Tsunade.
"TOBI OBJECTS!"
"Overruled."
"TOBI OBJECTS!"
"What does the defense want?" asked Tusnade, loosing her patience.
"Tobi wants some ice cream!"
"Overruled!"
"TOBI OBJECTS! Tobi wants ice cream!"
The judge sighed. "If the defense gets ice cream will it stop objecting so much?"
Tobi thought for a moment. "Yes!"
"Get him some ice cream," ordered Tsunade, pointing to another nameless extra.
"TOBI OBJECTS!"
"What now?"
"Chocolate!"
"Sigh...get him some chocolate ice cream."
"TOBI OBJECTS!!"
An anger mark appeared on Tsunade's head. "Yes?"
"With sprinkles?" the ninja asked innocently.
Tobi was brought a bowl of chocolate ice cream with sprinkles. He sat down, somehow eating it without taking his mask off.
"Tobi, what the hell are you doing?!" cried Deidara.
"Don't worry, Deidara-senpai," whispered Tobi," Tobi is diverting attention away from the fact that Tobi has no idea what he's doing. Wink, wink."
"Tobi, are you trying to wink?"
"Yes. Wink, wink!"
"Stop that!"
"Wink, wink!"
Deidara went crazy.
Tsunade banged the gavel. "There will be a ten-minute recess."
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Everyone filed back into the courtroom. Deidara was now in a straightjacket.
The jury would soon retire. Things weren't going well for Deidara. It seemed as though he would be convicted.
Suddenly, Tobi stood up.
"Tobi has proof that there was no possible way that Deidara-senpai could have robbed the jewlery store!" Tobi looked over at a man standing by the doors. "Bring it in!"
The man opened the doors, and a dozen men came in holding mail bags. The bags were piled on top of the judge's desk.
"Here it is, all the letters to Santa Claus!" said one of the men.
"You want the courtroom across the street."
"Oh...sorry about that." They left. Another group came in.
"Here, all the undelivered mail in the world!"
"You want the post office next door."
"Right...sorry..." they left and a third group came in.
"Tobi has the proof!" the masked lawyer contiuned. "The day of the robbery, Diedara-senpai was nowhere near the store. He was in Sunagakure, kidnapping the Kazekage! Tobi has eyewitness accounts, photographs, audio, pollen spores, DNA samples, and...and hydroplatoonicateide specimens!"
"Did you just make that last part up?"
"Yes," Tobi admitted sadly.
Tsunade looked over the evidence piled on her desk. "I hereby dismiss this case. Deidara did not rob the jewelery store." Tsunade picked up some papers.
"And now for the next case, Deidara v. Sunagakure."
 MadHatterMika · Sat Oct 11, 2008 @ 11:21pm · 0 Comments |
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