WARNING: This isn't an emo thing, more like a speculative, joking-but-true thing. You hath been warned.
I realized in the shower that I can't do anything.
-I can't be a model because I have the wrong body.
-I can't be an athlete because I run out of wind when I stop.
-I can't dance.
-I can't sing.
-I'm not flexible enough to be more than a three-star hooker T.T
-I'm not sexy enough to be a child porn star.
-Keeping in the sex area, my voice isn't sexy enough to be a phone-sex operator.
-I'm unpopular enough that I can't be the life of the party.
-I'm popular enough that I can't sit in the back and manipulate others.
-I don't have enough leather to be in a punk band.
-I can't be a punk singer because I can't make a forceful stage-puke.
-I can't be a punk singer because I can't vomit blood at the drop of a hat(though that would be my super power if I had one)
-I have too many freckles to be a model for sunless tanner.
-My soul isn't tortured enough to be a dramatic artist.
-I'm not waiflike enough to be an actress (pointing at you, Lindsey Lohan).
-I don't have enough money to be popular no matter what.
-I'm not poor enough to be sparked into work-work-work, which would get me at least some commendation.
-My life doesn't suck enough for me to turn to drugs with a reason (though I wouldn't)
-My a** is too big to be waiflike (see above)
-My lower body is out of proportion to my upper body.
And that's.....like it. I keep making things up, but I have to stop before this is two pages long. XDDD I love making fun of myself, it's easy and I don't get my feelings hurt.
 Tsukichi · Fri Sep 23, 2005 @ 01:11am · 2 Comments |
