ugg...my legs hurt, my everything hurts -__- stupid evil gym.....
and now onto the actual rambling I guess. I don't care if no one understands it or not, I'm writing it anyway.
I wonder...why this happened...I'm not sure. I wish...well I don't know what I want I guess..
I want that to happen again...I wanna be happy but I want him to be happy too...ugh whats going on? I really don't know... I don't even know what I'm doing I'm so confused...I'm wrapped up in my own needs and wants right now I guess you could say. I wish for the answer I want, but I don't know if I'll ever get it and that deathly scares me, but I know I can't force his answer....
oh man...I'm so sad right now, I don't even know why..stupid girl hormones..annoying as freaking hell.
*sigh* what to do what to do? I don't know, the answer is avoiding me as I wait, I wish I could see into the future to know.....*sigh* why?...
I know I'm special in some way for something in the future, I know what I need and want and I'm not sure how to get it. sitting with Kaze-chan waiting out everything in the world isn't fun,were both bored cause he is attached to me, but I just wish I could know the answer I so desperately want...heh heh..if its the answer that I fear I guess it won't matter because after this I won't want anyone for a reaaaaaaaaaaalllllyyy long time. I'm so tired of this. I dont want to go on if its the answer I fear. I wish for eternal sleep...I don't want to be around anymore I just want to be forgotten and sleep in my own world forever if that is the case...
wouldn't that be nice? just forget the world and just live in a realistic world while you're really probably just in a coma. A world were everything is as planned and random things that couldn't happen in real life could happen.
If it is the answer I do not seek that I obtain from this waiting... wrap me up in a wooden coffin set out to the sea of roses, where not even the sound of my own thinking penetrates the pleasant silence, until I begin to dream sweetly of things I wish for. If it is the answer I fear, I no longer wish to be in the horrible human world.
I would rather be gone.
Its all up to you, one with the answer to destroy me or make me happy.
Whatever choice you make will effect me either well or badly. its your choice.
 Elemental guardian Zaria · Sat Sep 13, 2008 @ 10:30pm · 0 Comments |
