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Favorite questions/quotes (mostly from Tobi):

"Reality is the playground for the unimaginative."

"Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?" (Fav lol)

"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice."

"I'm not dead. I'm organically challenged."

"People are very open-minded about new things as long as they're exactly like the old ones."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?"

"Some people have eyes that see not and ears that hear not, but never tongues that talk not."

"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."

"Reality is the playground for the unimaginative."

"Discoveries are made by not following instructions."

"Do Kamakazi piolets wear helmets?"

"If one syncronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to follow?"

"Dust settles on a featherduster-- well what do you use to dust that?"

"Boys are like dogs: they eat, sleep, and hump everything they see."

"Hot guys are jerks. Nice guys are ugly. Hot AND nice guys are GAY."

"When life give you lemons, make lemonade... then find someone whose life is giving him vodka, and have a party." - Ron White

"Where all think alike, no one thinks very much." - Walter Lippmann

"There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters." - Alice Thomas Ellis

"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex." - Aldous Huxley

"I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." - Fran Lebowitz

"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." - George F. Will

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other." - Jack Handey

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back." - Henny Youngman

"If the opposite of what you expect always happens, then expect what you want, but imagine the opposite." - Me

"School prepares you for the real world-- which also sucks." - Happy Bunny