 1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Change riders.
3. Say things like, "This is the way we have always have ridden this horse."
4. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
5. Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Rewrite the standards for dead horse performance.
7. Appoint a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Create a training session to increase riding ability.
9. Compare the state of dead horses in today's environment.
10. Change the requirements, declaring that, "This horse is not dead."
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harness several dead horses together to increase speed and pulling power.
13. Declare that, "No horse is too dead to beat."
14. Provide additional incentive funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Do a Commercial Activities Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Purchase a software product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare the horse is "better, faster, and cheaper" dead.
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
22. Shorten the track.
23. Establish benchmarks for industry dead-horse leaders.
24. Put together a spiffy PowerPoint presentation to get planners to double the dead-horse R&D budget.
25 Get the horse a website.
26. Declare that the horse is not in fact dead, but poised for growth.(or just pinin')
27. Sell off its ears to reduce overheads.
28. Re-organize the horse to make it more customer-facing, by cutting off its head and sewing it on backwards.
29. Declare that since horse is dead, we must now ride smarter, not harder.
30. Sell off the horse's legs one by one, until someone will buy it.
31. Declare that riding is not a core competency.
 Valixrae · Thu Jul 03, 2008 @ 08:54am · 0 Comments |
