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...of the wind...
Wow... It's definitely been a while.
It has definitely been a while since I've been in this journal... I mean, I have my actual hardback journal that I use, but wow... I almost completely forgot about this one... *sigh* Let's see, where to begin... Well, I've been in the Navy for about a year and a half so far. There's been the good times, and there's been the bad, but overall it's been fairly decent. I wouldn't trade the people I've met for the world. I have met some of the most amazing people in my life because of the military. Just like the woman I was supposed to marry... Until she decided that she didn't want to wait for me anymore and was unfaithful. And what makes it so bad is the fact that she did this within a week of me flying up and spending three nights in a hotel to be with her... Three nights and 800 dollars later, I leave and go back to Pensacola, FL. This was back in February. The 15th through the 18th if I remember correctly. I then receive a text message on March 18th from her saying, and I quote:

"I love you so much and I'm sorry. I don't know how to tell you this and I'm sorry if I have seemed distant lately. It's nothing you did. I just have been confused. I don't deserver you. So here it goes I have been cheating on you. I feel horrible about this and I have been trying to figure out what to do. I never intended to hurt you. I thought I was strong enough to be here without you, but I guess I'm not. I hate that I'm hurting you because I love you more than anything. I guess the reason I'm doing it is because I hate myself and I need to be with someone to fill the void. It kills me to know that I'm hurting you and I have done what I hate the most. I really didn't want to tell you but I love you and I respect you so you should know. I'm sorry I'm taking the cowardly way out and telling you in a text but I didn't want to tell you over the phone and have my phone hang up on you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Please don't hate me even though you should..."

Can you believe that? After we had talked and decided we were going to get married and have a family together sometime down the road... It killed me. But I'm over it now. I'm just releasing the last small amount of bitterness I have toward her and the entire situation... *sigh* I actually feel better... That's... interesting... Ah well. Looks like it's time for me to go.

Warm winds and fair skies to all who pass by.


Aira





Ruleless
Community Member
  • 06/29/08 to 06/22/08 (3)
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