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I endure the heat
Only because I know others do
I endure the scorching flames of your words
In hopes of consoling you

I bear with your tears
And hold back my own
Because someone needs to be strong

I'm no pillar of strength
More like column that you can lean on

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Hoping never made things possible
They just tied you over to despair
Or until your miracle happened

I'm waiting for mine
I'm waiting to see the outcome

I'm hoping for more
More laughs
More life

At this moment, I'm in hope

I'm not living
I'm repeating the same thing I did yesterday
Because that's all I'm allowed to do

There may be small variations
I can make myself happy
But I also did that yesterday

Do you know what yesterday consisted of?
Comparing myself to the cosmetically beautiful
Eating because I apparently need it to live
Watching people do stupid things because I can't go out and do it myself
I complain about things I can't fix
I dehydrate because I neglect to drink
My lips crack and it hurts to talk
But it hurt to speak before I realized that my throat was parched
To hear my thoughts are inappropriate
They are unnecessary
And I should just get over it
I've grown tight lipped
But my tongue did find a to become of use
I found when I bit my nails
That these hands could do more than do dishes and laundry
They could create
I can create
I can express
And I have a duty
To maintain sanity
For me
Because repitition can be insanity
Maybe I'm just a little insane...
Maybe I'm too good for my own good

I've stopped sucking my thumb and put these able hands to use
I'm screaming on paper
My pen is bleeding with emotion
That I couldn't explain orally

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Understand me
Know how I think
Know why I cry
Know what gets on my nerves
Realize that I ACT immature
I'm lazy
But I'm getting there
Run your hands through my hair
And tell me how much I mean to you
Then laugh because my hair is so knotted
That your hand got stuck
Give me reasons to why I am important
Because I lack telepathy
And can't really read your mind
Accept that I'm offbeat
Weird
And not exactly from the rest
But not that far either
Don't be afraid to tell me how it is
Tell me that I care too much
Tell me that I let this snowball
Slam doors in my face
And make me go through it alone
Come to my catch me when I'm on the brink
Of self destruction
Maybe if I take "the leap"
Catch me when I realize I can't do it
Remind me that I'm not right
But I'm southeast
And that's the direction you were going
Don't dedicate yourself to me
But just remember that I'll need you...

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Is there something wrong with me?
Do I come off as a lesbian?
Am I man repellent?
I refuse to change myself to get a guy..
But MY GOODNESS
When you see your best friends in the best relationships
And haven't been in one period
The "Maybe there's something wrong with me" questions pop into mind
Do I need to change my hair?
Do I need to start wearing make up?
Maybe I should wake up 20 extra minutes to make sure I look perfect...
Is it the way I am?
My Goodness, maybe it's my eyes
Or I don't have a nice enough a**
OR my boobs aren't big enough.....
Hey! what about my stomach?
Maybe I need to be ripped...
Should I change my style?
Marilyn Monroe was awesome
But I like Amy Lee's style
What will THEY think of me?
AAAHHH!
Why can't I just be enough?