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Every time i open my mouth and this girly s**t comes out i feel like i just lost her that little bit more. I know i cant lose her but i dont know why i cant. I am so messed up that no one else in real life likes me as a true friend. Shure i have friends but no one really can say that they consider me a best friend. Even tho i am as messed up as i am she loves me. Yet i keep acting like an a** in front of her and say dumb things like: "baby im sorry im retarted" or "baby i only wanna do what u want" or the worst "awwww babyyyy thats soooooo cuuuute" god i hate myself after i say that. But eventually ill stop saying thoose things and ill be able to be that much more secure. After all all i want is to be there for her and love her more than anyone ever has or ever can ^^ I LOVE YOU JEANNETTE heart heart heart heart heart heart