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So, believe it or not I've been getting gradually more depressed over the last... oh, let's say 3 months. I'm really good at not acting it, but yeah, I feel like s**t almost all the time. I'm not joking. The best I feel is when I'm out jogging or swiming, or exhagusting myself because the I can't think.

But today I feel good. Like, wow, I feel good. I know, it's kinda stupid sounding, I agree, but it's a big deal to me. I hate being depressed, I consider it to be a crappy waste of time. stare

Which it is. Because all I've been doing was wasting time. Waste, waste, waste. I'll sit and watch TV, stuff I don't care about, instead of getting up and doing a stupid math assingment. Or washing a few dishes. You know, nothing difficult, but I just don't do it. I'll sit and do NOTHING instead of at least taking a dog on a walk. It's rather unproductive.

Why do you think I feel better? Well, for starters, I've spent the last 3 and a half hours doing homework. Honestly. I'm all caught up *cheers* and, I'm ahead in English class (ya know, that class I hate?). We had this big assignment. Make a posterish thing (small, but bigger than a normal piece of paper) about yourself. Suppose to be self exploring or some sort of crap like that. While I didn't learn anything new about myself I must say mine looks pretty damn good. ^^ blaugh And I wrote the letter. And in the letter I put that I didn't learn anything, that because of all the many other similar projects I've done over the years has taken up most of my self discovery, I just didn't have enough left for her project to be significant. That made me happy, too. I just might get a good grade. I need it, because I keep forgeting to do my work in that class. I just don't care that much about it. Or I just don't care at all about it. Take your pick.

But I'm so happy I just have these things done. It was a weight on my shoulders, and now it's gone. If I get the current event done for APG then I have all homework caught up. And I'm doing good in my news story. ^^ that makes me really happy. I interviewed the nice councleing lady today. That was fun. But it put in perspective that I'm not done with my college application yet. I don't have many more days.

But I can handle it. If I sit down tomorrow and work on it like I worked on my homework I'll have it complete in less than two hours. Here's hoping I can do this two days in a row, eh? I also have to get some stuff turned in for my senior project, I'll get that started after this. Then I'll find an article for current events, then I'll be good.

So what else has been going on? Not much. Life's moving forward slowly but surely. Today I went shopping though. I can't go shopping again for awhile though because I'm so almost broke. And I didn't get the yarn I needed. *slaps forehead*

I'm making scarves for friends at school, and I've made two already with one thing of yarn, but I need one in red for two other people, and I'm out of money, and this is the expensive stuff (because heaven forbid I go cheep rolleyes ) but it should be cool, I have time. I also need to make scarves for my Host parents for christmas, but that shouldn't be hard. I'm using bigger kniting needles so it goes faster, plus I'm trying different styles, so they look all spiffy like, too.

Things I did buy, however:
Sims 2. For when I get my lap top. I figured I was entitled to a game.
A Perfect Circle's new CD. Don't know the name, can't remember, but it kicks a**. The last song is assome. I mean, great, wonderful, incredible. Or at least I think so.
3 books. Don't ask me their titles, they were all in the vampire/werewolf/witchcraft fiction section. One is about some wizard dude, the other a detective in london (go british dudes!) and the last a were wolf chick. I figured something other than vamps would be good, and horror fit my mood at the time. That was back when I wasn't haveing a good day.

However I don't get to read any books or play the Sims until after finish my application. I figure it will be my reward for being so good and getting things done. See, I'm spiffy like that ^^.

Then there will be scholorship applications. xp Will my work ever end?




Don't answer that.




On other things.... Oh my #@#$& God! Bush won! :sigh: can't say I didn't see it coming. But Damn it!!!!!!! Not that I like Kerry, I just don't like Bush. And not that I don't see reasons to keep Bush, I just don't want him around. And so I'm sad, but somewhat resigned, over this defeat. And I hope Kerry the best, and I wish I could tell him how proud I am of how he took his defeat. At was most excelent. He was very... what's the word... respectable at least, but that's not what I'm looking for. Ah well. Tomorrow's another day, and if Bush starts a nuculear war at least I won't be alive to deal with it. (no, I don't think Bush is that stupid. I'm more worried about him poluting our enviroment and leaving me to live with it when I'm old and frail and vulenerable. Last thing I want is a poluted sky and icky air to breath when I'm in my oldest years.) Yes, I'm a greeny, no I'm not a libreal. I'm kinda a libreal, but the test says I'm more conservitive. So I'm a conservitive greeny. stressed You figure it out. At least I don't support Nader.

Oh, and I barely did the reading for APG last night and I still got at least a 7 out of 8 on the quiz (because of the 1 extra credti point.)

My cat keeps climbing on me. *pets neko* she's cute. But fat. She's on a diet. Unfortuneately that means Pepper, the not so fat cat, is also on a diet. We feed them together.

What else... I almost have 2 full jack sets for this year. I'm stupid and spent holoween on Gaia. Well, parts of it, I spent part of it at safeway pumping gas. Go Breat Cancer Cure! *dances around because she did a good deed* I'm spiffy. ^^ *dances around because her arogance and bragging takes away everything good from that deed*

Anywho... *thinks* I've been thinking a lot about... something. Which I won't write because I know my friends read this. No, this doesn't have to do with you. Unless you're someone I don't think reads this. (Hint, your name doesn't start with an S. If it does, and I know you, you probably shouldn't be reading this so ******** off. ^^)

Um... yeah... that was mean. *shrugs* Don't really care right now. I might care later. Maybe. But it's a less subtle point than just not talking to a person for... however long I haven't talked to a person.

So.... I forgot to do laundry. whee I have no clean pants... wait, I have sweats, I'll have to wear sweats tomorrow. Wish I could wear shorts. BUT IT'S TOO DAMN COLD!!! stupid cold. Aw well, I don't not like it. At least I haven't been sick yet. *waits for inpending sickness to infect her because she said those words* I can't get sick, I don't want to miss school.

Should rephrase that.

I don't want to get sick, I can't miss school.

Why not you ask? Because I'm stupid. Stupid and not wanting to miss anything. Because I'm affraid that'll be the imporant thing, or day, or lecture, or story opertunity. Or some other crap thing. Besides, I'm saving my sick days until my stress makes me down right natious. At that point I'll probably be on my period and not wanting to deal with people, anyway. Period's suck. Not gramitcally speaking, of course.

sweatdrop stomach growl* Me hungry, but it's too late to eat. Um... it's actually late, so I think I'll leave it at this. I need to do that school thing.

*huggles all her adoring readers* I love you too! Come back again!

ta ta for now
Auliro.





p.s. Yes, you do love me. If you didn't you never would have read all that crap.