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Hah. I am going to be making a sarcastic series of guides for humans. I'm starting off with vampires, seeing as there is a massive amount of RPs revolving around humans and vampires.

1. If your school bus/car breaks down in the pouring rain outside of a mysterious mansion, don't enter. Either whip out your mobile phone or actually wait until the rain stops to go for help.
On a second note, Gothic looking mansions are always bad news.

2. If you are in a town with obvious vampire activity, don't befriend one of the locals and stay at there house, even if they do say they're a human.

3. Cover all windows with corrugated silver sheets blessed by priests. I don't know what that is going to do, but it's worth a try. New Zealanders seam to like corrugated iron a lot and they don't have any vampires there.

4. Don't bother with garlic. Vampires just dislike because it gives them bad breath if you've been eating it.

5. Always have a priest at your side. They'll be the ones attacked by the vampires first.

6. Never go down a darkened alleyway just because the person at the end of it is calling to you.

7. Lazer guns are very useful against vampires. But then again, they're just about useful for anything.

8. Never trust a hungry vampire which doesn't want to bite humans because of their issues. They always seam to have a habit of loosing control and then going emo over biting you no matter what you say.

9. Daytime is now not safe. Some idiotic scientist must have thought it would be funny to make 'daywalkers' or whatever those vampires call themselves these days.

10. Stakes? What the hell are you thinking. Vampires are hell stronger then you, so I doubt you'd even get the stake even 10cms close to their chest, let alone their heart.