today went by fast..
anyway, whenever I get really depressed for a while and can't come out of it, I turn goth after a couple o' days.
I just can't give a damn enough to care about anything when I'm like that, because it seems like the person I'm sad about doesn't give a damn about me. Its times like this when I just don't really know what'll happen... I always wonder if I should just die now to relieve the pain, but I can't do that because the goddess and everyone else up there doesn't like that. *sigh* I know its not this persons fault, but I wish...
eh..... cry *sigh* main word of my gothness- whatever and thats what I feel like saying now. I feel like I don't matter. the only person who would truely care if I was gone would be Taye anyway. *sigh once again* -__-
sad my minds all mixed up again. well at least howls moving castle and that vid on allysa's profiles keepin me somewhat happy..
I've also noticed that over the course of these past months I've become more violent and feel more like tearing flesh, beating up and stabbing people. also my need to bite someone (vampireness) has increased drastically. I'm not sure but I'm slowly becoming more and more okay with killing people..my mind is being taken over by the corruption of this world... cry I can't stay here for much longer. I need to get away from these humans...
see you all later. hopefully by next journal I won't feel so horrible.
*sigh*
 Elemental guardian Zaria · Tue Mar 18, 2008 @ 12:40am · 1 Comments |
