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i have no friends of my own,
jessica and cindy, apparently i was just their backup friend. ouch. they dropped out of school, didnt even tell me, went to party's, never invited me, never called me, great,
i was friends with cindy how long? 7 years, i guess that means nothing, being there to comfort her when dagney made her sad, doesnt matter, jessica 4 years, i always tried to look out for her, my mom tried to help her find an apartment, i opened my home to her when she got kicked out, she doesnt care.
i never cared i only had 2 friends, i thought it was quality over quantity, seems i had neither.

now my boyfriend is leaving to jobcorp, and im going to be alone. everyday, everynight, alone, after the 29th, why should i even bother getting up in the morning.

kahn is the only person in the world who really cares about me, my life will be an empty lonely blur until he gets back.

why should i even eat, why get out of bed, life is nothing without friends, without love and comfort, why even live.


alyssa