Well I have now come back home after about 2 months of being at Ryan's house...I really do wish I could just live there but Ryan says he still prefers some privacy. I understand that but maybe in another 6 months to a year he might ask me to come live with him since I feel much more comfortable being there than at home with my parents. I now feel cramped and less like me when I am home...
So yeah I'm home and Ryan is off on vacation...I wish I could go on a vacation...I wish I had a job to go on vacation from. Actually, I'm just wishing to do something...and when I'm home my feeling of complete free fall increases 100 fold.
However, there is good stuff...tomorrow I will be going to the gym, cleaning the car, and applying for a few jobs here and there...
Back to moping though...I miss Ryan...he's only been gone for a little while but I'm used to him being around at this time and going to sleep with him...I even told him I was used to sleeping beside him and I sleep better when he's around. It'd be nice that when he gets back from his golf trip that maybe he gets me a souvineir or just does something nice for me...lately, I've felt a little under appreciated.
It's only because for the last month any long time moments he's been able to have with me were interupted by 'guys night out' events like poker, or golf or going out partying...I haven't spent a day with him doing anything other than sitting on the couch and so I guess I feel jelous that he has so much to do all the time with everyone else...and I don't want to complain but I would just like a night of him to myself doing something that's interesting to both of us and we enjoy it...he doesn't enjoy going to movies and I'm starting not to either. Our last day together before he left for his trip was going to the mall and buying him new shirts...wtf? I'm jelous of his friends because they get to spend a whole 4 days with him golfing, playing tennis, swimming...and I've wanted to go camping with him for weeks...I'm jelous because I want that kind of time...I want a trip or special day with him and I never get it...
If anyone has any suggestions of what he and I could do together I'd love to hear it.
 Krysil · Sat Jul 02, 2005 @ 07:02am · 0 Comments |
