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it does hurt.
people don't know.
having to be strong.
needing to lie.
wanting to protect you.
having to suffer.
needing peace of mind.
never getting it.
people don't know.
or maybe they do...
they know what they do
when they hurt you.
needing to reconsile.
always being hostile
to protect, to save
to keep yourself
in the human race.

it does hurt
to breathe that breath you gave me.
Having to be last.
needing to pretend.
needing to recomend
certain paths for other people
but never knowing your own.
needing something no one can give me
not legally.
euthanasie.
I can't do it myself.
I'm not strong enough
to hurt you the way it should.
the way it would
maybe if you cared.
i'd still be there.
there where you could find me,
see me.
describe me.
But I'm not there anymore.
I'm on the edge.
every little tumbling rock
inviting me to come along
for that last fateful fall.
I could hurt you if I wanted.
but I'm not stong enough.
not strong enough to leave.
I need that last fateful push.
that push through the door.

between heven and hell there is earth.
gravity pulls you down.
so we're all going to hell.
I need that push.
I don't want it.
It would be too sweet.
too sweet for someone like me.
for someone anything like me.
too good. too peacful.
this hell will never end.
but it will for me one day.
One sweet day.
But such a thing is still too sweet.
I'm not strong enough to take it.
to take it with me.
Through that door.
I need a push to go through.
Would you push me?
you do it all the time.
what?
are you not strong enough
to deal with going that far?
making that last push?
you think you're so sweet.
but you're what drives me
to that sweet world.
where there is no punishment
for things I protected you from.
euthanasie.
could you save me?