Tomorrow I'm going to the doc to get my meds filled out ..
good timing too, because I'm kind of teetering on the edge lately. D:
I keep feeling like my hearts' coming out of my chest. Panic attacks. My dreams leave me feeling unsettled for the whole day. I can barely take work stress anymore. I loath going each day and long to just give up, but I know that's simply not an option.
I have to earn money. I have to cling to this last dignified fascet of my human existence: gainful employment. If I don't, there's really amost nothing else left I can do. My bike has two flat tires and I don't really have the money for new ones. So it's very difficult to job hunt far away.
In any case I know there's no point. It's not the job that's the problem, it's me. I could have the most fantastic job on the planet and still freak out with panic attacks and want to quit and hide under the bed. It's me and my lunatic chemical imbalence. So yeah, meds. sweatdrop
xD oh god, today I shopped like a mad person
well, more like window shopped.
I don't like spending money. I'm a miserly old whoor. xD
Mum and I went to wallie world and the mall. She got some new glasses and we went and looked at every shiny thing in the entire mall. We went to Bath and Body works and did samples until we smelled really .. insane. xD And I tried different lipglosses on until my lips looked kind of scary. I finally settled on a mocha-tinted glittery type. And I got some cheap mascara from WalMart. xD
Also we went to Hot Topic and I found the friggen coolest thing ever:
a Hufflepuff pin. xD I'm going to get a picture of it tomorrow .. xD it's a little brooch. They also had Slytherin and Ravenclaw. xD I wanted to get them for Neko and Kyu but they were a little expensive. emo
But I'm glad I didn't get anything else because when we came home there was another note from the apartment management wanting yet more money .. -_-;; they won't stop harassing us.
Uhg.
And Rands car is gonna be impounded if we don't move it in two days. D:
I make money but it gets zapped away in one instant .. ;.;
ohwells,
that's what money is for right?
 The Viscount · Wed Oct 10, 2007 @ 06:47am · 0 Comments |
