What to say.. what to say.. Its funny when you've had friendships for so long you suddenly run out of things to say to one another.. even if you consider that person a close friend... Yeah, on the net. Well.. figured I'd get that thought out of my head and hopefully out of there for the rest of the night.. I really don't feel like pondering tonight.. When I get off I plan to go to bed and sleep until I feel like I can't sleep for decades. lol.. Yeah.. entertaining nights if you know what I mean! lol. Just kidding!@! Promise. Just thought I'd try to put some slight humor, if it can be called that for you, in this. xd
For some reason my younger sister was what you could probably bluntly say, just plain out damn annoying and aggravating! I had a friend spend the night last night and all day today she would keep coming into my room trying to spend time with her by wanting to watch the game.. Then... she'd throw these huge fits when she wouldn't get her way.. I mean I came five seconds away from actually taking her into her room, giving her a good smack on the butt, and making her stay in her bed for the rest of the day even if mom didn't like it.. Mom has a lot of patience... Some of the stuff my little sister pulled today I would not have been able to deal with so calmly..
Maybe this means I wouldn't be a good mother? lol. I don't plan to be a mother.. I'm afraid anything dealing with a relationship with a guy in that sort of way will end up leaving me broken in shattered pieces on the floor.. Unable to be put back together. Everyone tells me I'd make a good mother.. A lot of people don't believe me when this subject rises that I'd be able to live my life alone like that.. I mean.. sometimes I wonder that myself.. sometimes I get these feelings so strong.. and I just don't know if I'd be able to live with the alone feeling all my life.. Why am I thinking about all this? Don't really know.. It just sort of hit me all of a sudden.. and alas.. a journal to put the thoughts in.. xd Really though.. I have these thoughts hitting my brain at very.. very weird times..
Right now.. as I look out of the living room window and watch the windmill turn in circles in the darkness with a chilling breeze, I just.. lose myself in my thoughts.. I'm a rising sophomore..A junior.. Not much time left till I'm in the real world and options will be before me.. My choices.. my decisions.. that will affect my life.. Well, enough pondering my thoughts.. Try to enjoy the night in its almost full silence..
((Paragraph form is so a friend of mine wont complain when reading! wink ))
 SkylightRose152004 · Fri Jun 03, 2005 @ 03:01am · 0 Comments |
