Things are going fairly smoothly now. Well...of course with some exceptions. I failed my Biology Exam--a freaking 62--I guess I have to study more. *sigh* Awell, it's the only thing I can do. I need to start taking school more seriously.
But on a good note, I'm learning how much of a selfish brat I am; this way I can try my hardest to contain it and think of others before my own selfish wishes. Yes, it would be amazing! Hell! I'd be in an earthly paradise...but, time is against me...the past is against me. But I have to flow with it and not allow my personal longings to break me under the pressure. He's amazing. Plain and simple. Everytime I look at him, I can't help but smile (unless he has that sad look on his face, cuz then I feel sad for him). He makes me laugh and I feel protected when I'm with him. I like having someone who I know will always be there for me; I like having a protector. But that by no means means that I'm a weakling......I think.....I hope......oh forget it, I am! x3 *sigh* But anyway. The point being, as cliche' as it is/sounds, he's like my twin--my other half, and I've never felt so at home than when I'm with him...when he simply puts one arm around me. *shakes head* oh but what am I rambling on about?! Teeheehee. *sweatdrop*
In any account, though, he's not ready. That's the main point. And he may never be...at least with me. It hurts, I'll admit to that...but what can I do? Nothing. And I shouldn't want to. I can't change anything if that's the way he truely feels. I'm just going to have to accept it. As much as I want him to love me in return, as much as I want to be his picture perfect image of his ideal girl...I'm not her....I can't compete with a memory. But I shouldn't even be thinking that; I shouldn't even be "competing"...it's wrong of me to even think that. My wants aren't important. No matter how much I'd revel in the thought of being the person who makes him happy and makes him feel whole again, I'll stay here...on the sidelines, simply cheering him on with a smile on my face, hoping that it will bring one to his.
"Loving someone means you love them...
Even if they love someone else."
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I Love FIRE!!!
just some random nonsense about my "interesting" life
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Prismatic Stratosphere
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