Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Blonde Jokes to start the week.


Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: How do you know when a blonde’s been in your fridge?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved