I know I know I've said this hundreds of times already but I'm really REALLY scared about Monday, and my surgery. . . even though people go through this every day and the doctor has done this thousands of times. I have not so its only normal for me to be nervous right?! . . . if your into religion could you say a prayer for me?? It would really calm my mind and maybe even stop me from kicking the doctor as they come to put me to sleep, sweatdrop I've had day dreams about that. If i get a panic attack from a sleep pill, how am I going to react when they come near me with that mask thing to put me under?! and what if I start to dream when they're cutting into me and I turn or kick or punch or something. . . I have been seen doing those things to myself when I'm just sleeping normally sweatdrop . . . . . . One last thing I wanna ask you, HOW DO I CALM MY FREAKING MIND DOWN!!!!!! I'M GOING OUTTA MY MIND HERE!!!!! waiting is always the worst part, also my friends can't be with me in the recovery room, only those so called "humans" that I'm forced by genetics to call "mom" and "dad" are gonna be there. and I highly doubt that my dad's gonna be there. . . OH WAIT he's not, he's leaving with my brother to go outta town tomorrow. . . great yet again I have been abandoned by my so called parents . . . . thanks for reading my concerns and all. . . and thank you for keeping me in your prayers, it really means a lot to me
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