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1] find a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll...
have a stupid penny.
have good luck!
have dirt on your fingers.
be an idiot.
ooh... shiny...

2] an apple a day...
isn't a bad idea.
is all you need to launch an ongoing air missile war.
keeps the doctor away...
must be polished until shiny.
is redundant.

3] life is like...
a box of chocolates.
flying fish. biggrin
a big, unsatisfying waste of time.
death. only backwards.
a winter sunrise.

4] do unto others...
lots and lots.
as you would have them do unto you.
or pie.
quickly, before they have a chance to do it to you first.
what you can't do for yourself.

5] time flies...
like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana.
when you're having fun.
in the face of danger.
when you want it to stop.
and life moves on for everyone still living.

6] when in doubt...
lob a second grenade.
run away!
poke it.
think about it. The answer will come to you.
listen to your instincts.

7] the early bird...
*bang*
catches the worm.
sings the most beautiful song.
is paranoid enough to avoid the other birds.
has pretty feathers?

8] you laugh because I'm different, I laugh because...
ahahaha.. hahahahehehah-... wait, what?
you're all the same.
you're not laughing anymore, now, are you.
I had too much to drink.
I don't want to be left out. ...[stop laughing!]

9] you can attract...
more honey paper with flies. biggrin
more flies with sugar.
those missing dryer socks with static electricity...
more bullets with friendly fire.
me if you make up poetry about me. >>

10] good things...
come to those who wait.
seem to avoid me like the plague.
I'm good things!
are out there. But don't worry, I'm stalking them.
can happen to good people.

11] what doesn't kill you...
is just toying with you.
makes you stronger.
should be petted until fluffy.
hurts you anyway.
is usually responsible for what does.