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kuru_uchiha
Community Member
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4 comments
3rd one...and last...

~Sin~

I told someone
about my lies
the lies about my feelings.
I told him that I felt ok
that everything was gonna be fine
I trusted you,
I told myself
that it was all a dream
I figured it out
that all this time
I was lying out loud.
I come to you
and yell at you
for being so mean,
but later even after that
I tell you that I’m sorry
even though it’s not my fault
I came back and said I’m sorry
you still haven’t said sorry
you still haven’t forgiven me
you dont say a thing
you act as if the pain I feel
is nothing compared to yours
your pain may be strong
but mine is real.
I told you that I hated you,
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
for stooping so low.
Please forgive me
for I have sinned.






User Comments: [4]
katly
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Fri Mar 02, 2007 @ 08:59pm
this one came out like a poem!! i like this one!! good job!! ^.^ keep up the good work!!


comment Commented on: Fri Mar 02, 2007 @ 09:17pm
depressing......XP



Nani_Noodles
Community Member
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Tachikana
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Sat Mar 03, 2007 @ 04:53pm
woah, nice poem slash story


comment Commented on: Sat Mar 10, 2007 @ 07:25am
Very nice its very well writen however see if you can substitute the little words for bigger ones for example "I was lying out loud." why not I was shouting my lies or something like that it gives it more drama



Tsugunal
Community Member
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User Comments: [4]
 
 
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