I stay in my own corner
Secluded from the world
Surrounded in green envy
Wallowing in self-pity
Those around me, they don’t care
I can’t stand up for myself
I dream and tell myself I can
But in the cruel reality we live
That is a lie, a lie that I surround myself in
I see him there
An aura of self-confidence surrounds him
Oh, how I wish for such confidence
But alas, I cannot
I see them there
The girls that surround him like the aura that he takes such pride
I see them there, I see him there, and I see all of them
They are but shadows on my wall
There, but not tangible
I long for them
I long to be able to be part of them with such a stride that they take among themselves
Lies, all of it, Lies
I feel hot rivers flow down my face
The blood in my body grows cold
I can’t stay in this state longer than I live
Does love exist?
No one can answer that question for me
Why not?
Is it something of my personal being?
Am I not meant for such a feeling of longing?
I ask myself these questions everyday
I cannot help what I feel is a lie
Lies, is there nothing more?
Can I not bring myself to face such an emotion?
Is it so hard?
What’s so hard about such an emotion?
Is it fear? Does fear consume this emotion?
Two emotions canceling each other out, and one dominating
It is truly sad and brings a tear to my eye
Fear is nothing more than fear in itself
And love is something to fear
Can we not love without being fearful?
Is it so hard to believe that some are not meant for love?
They fall before me
These emotions
They beg for my mercy before the die
I should’ve saved them
I stood there
Their cries of anguish rang through my head
I stood there
I watched them die
And I just stood there
Their flame was dead
But they somehow combusted to my heart
They make me feel this way
They want revenge for allowing them to die so easily
I wouldn’t blame them though
No, I would not
I am a tangible shadow
Stuck to the wall
They pass me by not noticing me
But observing and to see what I will do next
I feel like an animal
Being watched from the cage
Oh, how I want to break free from this cage
But the bars won’t collapse
Bad things happen to me
I see my family crumble beneath me
I let it happen
I see my friends break apart
I let it happen
I see things happen and I feel as though it is my fault
Because I let it happen
Can I not break free?
It is not hard
Why can’t I?
Am I that weak?
What is wrong with me?
I am that weak
And it will drag me down
As the wolf
I wallow in self-pity
I sell my soul to the people I love
I am I lone hunter
But I feel drawn to my pack
As it is my duty to help them and stay there
No matter how important I may not be
So I let this feeling rest and take me over
I will let it do so
Until it’s revenge subsides
I will let it take over
But one day
I will conquer this emotion
Wait one day
You’ll see
 waterfallenrose · Wed Nov 08, 2006 @ 11:23pm · 4 Comments |
